my greatest blessing - my Mother

Ever so often I am reminded of the strength and fighting spirit of the women in my family. The strength that they show is inspiring and I am often in awe just thinking about. With strength and a sense of independence along side a fighting spirit that puts this generation to shame is a heart so kind and compassion shining through.

The times when my mom was sick in august with her mini stroke and eventual double fall, it was a period of déjà vu for all of us because grandma started out that way when age start showing itself and health starts to deteriorate. But in spite of the pain and having people to care for them hand and foot they fought they fought hard and so did mom and in spite of her being sick she thought of others – showed her love and compassion and giving nature.

With the coming of Ramadan her worry was her inability to fast – she managed the first day but had to skip for about 3 days to fully get herself better and by the 5^th day of the fast she fasted again and have been doing so till now. Her want and he perseverance is truly an inspiration to me. Even though she is not fully recovered, not being able to sit for long hours and has to be hauled around on a wheelchair, she still fights. Just a few days ago she helped in preparing food for the old folks and orphans the Arab association here was hosting for iftar or the breaking of fast.

Ramadan is a time of giving and also a time of reflection and realization. My mom may not be as fit as she was last Ramadan but that fighting spirit still lives in her as does her giving nature. I am writing this because I know I will come to this blog when I feel overwhelmed with responsibilities and the curve balls that life throws at me and I am reminded of this wonderful woman I call mom. I have seen her fall and get back up again – not giving up.

When she was sick those few weeks in August she remembered her promise to my grand aunt who is suffering from cancer in Kuala Lumpur. She promised to visit her but alas my moms own medical condition prevented her from doing so. It bothered her that she couldn’t make the trip; she was upset thinking that my grandaunt would be upset. She felt really bad but got better when she called my grand aunt and explained her own situation – the look of relieve on her face really explained her feelings the few days before.

My mother is a lot like grandma when it comes to fighting and giving. She thinks of others and often puts others ahead of her. She never shows her the hardships she often has to endure – she puts on a happy face and as far back as I can remember she has always been this way.

My mother is the aunt loved by all. They love having her around and often go to her for advice and comfort. She never forgets people’s niceness to her and she makes sure she returns the favor two fold – you could call it paying it forward. This Ramadan she made a list of my cousins and aunties name because she wanted to give them spicy peanut gravy so they have them for either their morning meals or the breaking of fast. She bought little hand towels from Indonesia because she wanted to give them to my cousins – it’s a simple enough gesture but it means a lot because it shows me the wonderful person she is – my love for her has no bounds and it just warms my heart to see do these things for others.

The inspiration for this blog came from a phone call my mom had last night from her own cousin who is deaf and lives alone with her maid. Her cousin called to do the whole Ramadan formalities and then asked for cakes. She said mom made the best ‘kuih lapis’ a spicy layered caked she wanted to order one for Eid so my mom said ok. She also wanted some cookies but this year however mom isn’t making any for sale. So feeling sorry for her cousin mom made some calls this morning to find cookies for her. Her enthusiasm is amazing. Making calls and getting things ready – my mom the lady with a heart of gold. It’s always the little things that she does for others which leaves me speechless and make me want to be a lot like her.

Even though were not always agreeing (due to the generation gaps), we do have out ups and downs (who doesn’t). As I get older I begin to see even more just how beautiful her heart truly is – it shows in all the little things that she does. In not so many words, I learnt so much from her and everyday it seems I learn more. Her compassionate, strength, courage, love for others and her fighting spirit are just some of the traits I truly admire. I know I am truly blessed to have a woman like her in my life to call Ummi – which means mother.