lummie's box

Today i opened pandora's box more like Chris's box - letters emails journal entries pictures - i have no idea why i did it today but i did and God knows im overwhelmed.. The tears just flowed .. ... could one person have this profound impact on you after so long ??? Anyways .... I guess i was asking for it ... or maybe i just miss the times miss him. ...... I had to stop a little bit reading through everything - from the sweetest emails to the meanest emails .. so i figured i would write a little let everything out of my system ... i think from the moment he came back to right now ... how i really feel for him i have kept it fighting it hoping that in some strange away it would all go away - the feelings, the love, the longings the gut feelings - i mean why feel for someone when they dont feel the same way for him - i mean i think for once in the last 10 months or so of knowing him that i have reached this conclusion then again probably not ... i have told myself this over nad over again - obviously it hasnt sunk in .....