..Mid week Insanities

i have some time to kill before my next class and i felt like blogging so here i am ...
its mid week - wednesday / ladies night / 2 more days and its the weekend yay!!! - all rolled into one .. my minds far from wanting to party i just want to rest and recuperate alas that is not on my cards not for the next few weeks at least - .. i am so tired been such a crazy week at work -- and it isnt the full moon and the kids are acting out - must be all the excitement lord knows from where.. but they seem to have calmed down today and i hope they stay that way .... we had eveluations for some of the teachers and my turn is sometime next month - end of the year evaluations are always the most stress ful - it determines many things for your teaching career - well just do the best i can i tell myself and hope that the things that happened last year wont repeat itself because i would love to enjoy my end of the year vacations without having to think about work :P ..... but anyways .. the weathers a tad off today - really windy and the clouds are dark yet its so warm with the sun beating down - i can guess the weather cant decide what it feels like being today so its throwing all three down on us mere mortals hahaha.. im being silly i know - just need to be off a little right now been too worked up last few days - i think its its mental and physicall exhaustion all rolled into out - maybe its a year end thing or a third quarter of the year thing who knows ....

sometimes i think i am so taken in by the world through the wonderful world of media and human inetraction - that it overwhelms me to no end... the killings, the stupidity, the lack of respect for others, how human life is of no value -- it all gets to me because i think and wonder why .. you question so many things .. sometimes it feels like we are living cautiously - in terms of our daily life, what we want to say but what we say to cover it up - its really hard to explain .. we are cautious about security, interaction sometimes it feels like our life is being led so carefully that we are not fully living it ..... because of all that is happening in the world ... its just an observation ....

Speaking of observations its been a little under two weeks since i last "C" online .. last time i saw him was the evening of his birthday when he was going out and i never saw him since and no messages either .... so i went hmmmmmmm... and wondered .. is he just not talking to me? keeping a distance? Maybe he hasnt been online at all - maybe he met someone that is keeping him busy - non of this is impossible ... i just wish he would say something or let me know he is ok .. i mean sure he is home and all but i still worry and wonder about how he is doing (silly ole me i know .. so sue me :P ..... ) maybe, maybe, maybe - all the maybes .... i could always upset the maybes by countering my thoughts with positve dreamy thoughts and wishful thinking thoughts ... well see ....

ahh well .....time for class now ... i just hope he is doing ok and i am hoping i would hear from him really soon and though i know the state of the world will not change when i finish class at least i know i am closer to getting home and rest ....zzzz....