a day of blessings inspite of it all

Where do I begin this entry .. hmm maybe with looking for a nice font that fits my mood and maybe some color .. hmmmmmmm today it shall be yellow knowing perfectly well it would strain the eye so I think I will go with grey ummm maybe I will go with lime green – lets see bolding it umm I think I will stick with this royal blue unbolding it would make it this so im sticking to bold ..

Anyways im glad its Friday im glad the weeks over – it didn’t even occur to me it was Friday the 13^th …. and I hate it when I feel bad knowing perfectly well I didn’t do anything wrong grrrrrrrrrrr…. So I went back and cooked I think that’s one of my comforts cooking. I made mashed potato patties ate them with chili sauce and seeing there was no cucumber in the fridge I was deprived of that. I had a glass of green tea took my vitamins and I think that raised my spirits a little though I kept thinking of what happened. Its funny just when I think I put my foot for the first time without feeling bad the whole feeling guilty thing just seems to slowly creep in grrrrrrrrrrrr .. anyways

On a better note … I finally got in touch with my best friend whom I haven’t spoken too in a while. We had a little misunderstanding some months back and haven’t spoken. Seeing it was her birthday July 10^th I decided to write her and wish her and I was so happy to hear from her today. That made my day and got me all teary eyed. I guess there are something’s that cannot be taken away from you and one of them is a best friend of over 20yrs. So now it’s all water under the bridge and we are as good as new. I think time has a way of working things out .. Latest news from her is that she just gave birth to a baby girl who is two months old. I am so happy for her. She now has a boy and a girl. I think she is the luckiest person to be blessed with kids. She has always wanted a baby girl and that she has gotten. She is still in Norway – moved to a new city there and waiting to move into their new home.. so I am really happy she is doing great and that we are in contact again – I guess some prayers do get answered ..

I could probably stay upset at what happened or I could count the blessings that I have had today and I choose the former seeing its better for my health though it still amazes the power of forgiveness – how a woman can forgive a man who murdered her child. I was watching Law & Order and that was the story line. She said how she tried to hate them for killing her son but couldn’t and instead she will be praying for them when they go to prison. Its is probably just a television show but I watched something like that on Oprah so yeah it does happen in real life. And I salute the people who are able to forgive that way – I don’t know if I ever could and I hope I don’t have to go that way but if one thing it teaches it teaches us to forgive – maybe not now but eventually …

I always remind myself when I upset to look at the littlest of things and if I didn’t I think my day would have been one mad rage till the end. So I sit here tonight calmed and collected in spite of the initial start to this blog – and that little email I sent to sweetness asking him if I could vent whine bitch and moan heehe I should probably take it back huh ….

I made friends with an Iraqi girl. she is 22 and university student there. I do wonder how they face life – what you see on television and what you read is not always what you get. I asked her how she was doing – she said good because she is alive. And that has always been the respond how are you? The answer is alive. It makes you think don’t it – we live in peace yet we talk the day for granted and they live from day to day wondering if they would ever make it to the next day ……. People’s lives offers insight into our own – makes me re think our relationships and our expectations. Just a thought ……..

So I got my writing groove back I think cause I have a lot of things I want to write about hah – I like it when that happens and in a few minutes it will be the new moon too – July 14^th is the new moon cycle, new beginnings too. I always look forward to that and not so much to the waning moon seeing that it usual is a little somber and i know i would have to wait a while for the big bright ball inthe sky to appear I read somewhere that the when the moon wanes, it takes away the negativity that has happened during that cycle – cool huh .. Its actually still waning and i think the new moon will only come out tomorrow evening ;)) ..

The panda cams not much to watch for right now seeing its slow again and the pandas are roaming around Lord knows where – its either they are not there or they are napping what a life huh …

And so I end tonight’s entry with this quote from my friend Barb and its all about the old devil called love ..

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket—safe, dark motionless, airless—it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable…The only safe place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers of love…is Hell….CS Lewis ..

Anyone care to share their perspective on this quote? Would be interesting to see what others think this quote is trying to convey..

Nites world …