in grief comes hope

Its been ages since I last blogged – it seems like I was paralyzed mentally and numbed for the last two weeks. It has been a mentally & physically exhausting past two weeks for me and my family on the whole. We are still trying to get into the groove of things and getting back to normalcy. Slowly but surely we are getting there but not without noticing the things that have transpired the past two weeks.

Many has spoken openly about how they felt openly but me I haven’t really dealt with it fully. I spoke to “C” this morning and he agreed that some things are better left unsaid – maybe I will deal with this grief in my own way – I have mastered the art of keeping everything in though I have moments where I break down and cry trying to acknowledge loss of a sweet young soul and I can feel my eyes begging to well up as i write this ...

July 14^th was a sad day for us – my cousin Omar who was 13 succumbed to his complicated heart condition which he had since he was born and passed away in his mother’s arms.

I am trying to deal with it still and as much as I know it’s the best thing for him seeing that he is free of all pain it just hard to accept because we all see him as a child who was going into his teenage hood. His short life however wasn’t in vain he inspired hundreds of people around the world even those who never knew him personally – he was a special little man ..

I always said writing was a great way to let go of how you feel but for some reason it was so hard . I have wanted to write a memorial to him and i haven’t gotten down too it – its just hard . Hopefully I will be able to write about how I feel about all that sometime but his memorial is something I will make myself write seeing that I want the world to see what an amazing guy he was in spite of the battle he had with his heart problems, how he fought it till the end ..

I saw a painting of a beautiful little boy running in the fields free and happy and that reminded me of Omar – because that’s how he is now running free – something he has always wanted to do without complications or worry. Now thats what he is doing running free smiling & laughing in the fields of heaven..

But with loss comes hope .. a baby boy was brought into the world July 21^st – his nephew. A replica of my late cousin was what my aunt said …

So with tears we had happiness and I am finally able to get my mind into gear slowly but surely is what I say – I think I have to go back to one thing that gives me comfort which is writing my thoughts down and this is the beginning of it and then some ..

Sorrow makes us all children again - destroys all differences of intellect. The wisest know nothing. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson