Reflections on ramadan 7 days on ..

Today we complete the 7th day of the fast and in so many ways it’s been an enlightening and faith building experience. It wasn’t the most perfect first week of Ramadan but then nothing is ever perfect important thing is to pick up the lessons and see the little blessings and joys that comes with it.

When Ramadan started last Thursday which was 13th September, the Muslim community on two sides of the globe was dealt with two types of blows – one was from mother nature and another from among themselves. On the first day of Ramadan, an earthquake hit the Indonesian Island of Sumatra only to be followed by two others on the same day and the day after and while people were struggling with the fear of a tsunami, aftershocks and wonderings why this happened on such a blessed day, Muslims were killing Muslims on the streets of Pakistan on day where it should be filled with prayers and good deeds.

While the Indonesians struggle to re built their lives, their faith it seems is as strong as ever. I could never imagine having to deal with something that on a first day of Ramadan, my prayers goes out to them and my outmost respect too seeing how well they are talking this- it’s a test from Allah they say and they accepted what happened though I sense a kind of numbness and loss and while these people deal with what mother nature brings others well what can I say ..

Bombings going off in Pakistan killing your own brothers over political agendas, suicide bombers in Iraq killing locals and foreigners because of a cause I don’t think they have lost sight off.

Its Ramadan, certain things has to STOP and the taking of a human life is just one of them. They say they fight for the cause of Islam in the name of Allah, but I doubt that was ever it. If religion was ever the cause. I feel they need to come back and re read the Quran, the concept of jihad, the concept of loving one another and respect for others. They need to know what Ramadan brings, it’s not just about giving up food and drink, and it goes beyond that. What I have learnt in life is that a habit you chose to let go in Ramadan will be gone because come Syawal, Insya Allah you will be a better person with one less bad habit. I can’t speak for the killers, but if they look hard enough into their hearts and see and try to grasp the concept of what a blessed month this is, maybe just maybe they will stop what they do but maybe they are just a lost cause……..

Every time we go into a new month of Ramadan, I wish that for a moment people would stop and reflect on what the month is all about. They should stop the killings, the bombings and rid themselves of al the hatred they have among people of their own faith and otherwise. Islam teaches tolerance and compassion and what better time to start than now in this wonderful month.

On a personal note, the first few days after the 1st Ramadan were very trying times for me. Like ‘c’ said to me recently, if you cry and your eyes are all puffed up you will be clouded by tears and can’t see the positive side of things. He is right, I was so drowned in my own emotions and hurt that I missed that. I just realized that I was so upset that morning that when I woke I forgot to see how beautiful the day was and how blessed I was that morning that it rained, because rain may be compared to tears for some but for me its joy its about coming alive and in spite of the rain you could see the rain shining in the background. I forgot to realize just how beautiful the evening was as I took a stroll, the cool air the calmness of the night.

Those trying times brought forth so much. I saw how I was protected from my own fears and how in a hard lesson learnt kind of way my prayers was answered that God was indeed protecting me. Need I say more? And while I reflected about that night, it seems the answers to many of my questions were slowly still unfolding and it made me go ahhhh…. Now I understand why … *smile*.

In the last 15 months, I have had so many people taken away from me be it through death or life’s little mishaps and that’s quiet a bit to deal with because you cant help but feel that everyone who comes into your life will eventually go away. I figured one loss sure I could probably handle it but when it’s consecutive losses now that’s a whole new high. How do you deal with it?

In that hour o f my life, I made a deal with God, I said to him, since I was grieving and trying to make sense of things, maybe He could take one more because I felt that He was so that when he does I can just cry grief feel the hurt and pain maybe for the next couple of months and hopefully I would heal be all better by year end of start of the year and I will be back on my feet, doing all the things I have always wanted too. But I guess He had other plans… because I think He brought back the one person who really believe in me, the one who knows me more than I know myself sometimes and the one person who could always talk some sense in me and has been supportive and not pushy about the things I want to do with my life. You see I have “C” again in my life, I guess he never left, see where clouded teary eyes take your perceptions?

I have been often asked just who is this “C” person. “C” is a very special friend of mine and no he isn’t my boyfriend just a real good friend who looks out for me in spite of our history. We may not have a romantic link, but I wouldn’t trade what we have now for that or anything else. Sometimes you learn to accept what you can’t get and just appreciate what you can and in so many ways that means a whole lot more. I think this time round my guardian angel will be watching over me for a quiet a bit making sure I don’t mess up :P .. ;)) I think that’s another blessing in my life and one of the positive out comes this Ramadan.

Just before iftar or the breaking of fast, there is usually a short sermon on the radio just after the Quran recitation. Last nights sermon was about forgiveness, about eradicating ill feelings to people who have done us wrong. Forgiveness …. Is never easy but yet some people have in them do forgive. I have seen on television how mothers have forgiven criminals who have killed their child and prays for them too – that I am sure takes a very special kind of person. I mean its hard enough forgiving someone for emotional hurt but physical harm and murder – I was in awe at her strength.

Forgiveness releases us. It frees our heart. And that carries even a more special meaning this month where one of the purpose of Ramadan is to bring people together, mend broken relationships be it with family friends. Forgiving, letting go and acceptance. Giving people more credit than they deserve and show compassion to others. It really got me to thinking have I really been forgiving enough, would it be easier when another test in forgiveness comes my way? I don’t know really but if anything the little sermon got me to thinking about things especially when it comes to the people around me, family, friends and the occasional strangers on the street.

The sermon mentioned about being good to people even when they aren’t to you. He cited the ways of the Prophet (PBUH). He cited the kind words that should be at our lips and not the harsh words, to be patient very patient. Ramadan takes a lot from you in terms of testing your patience and faith but while it does that it gives you back so much more leaving you renewed re charged and ever so grateful.

I learnt to never give up on hope or people no matter how bad things seem to be. That you can always smile when you’re crying if you just try and see the little things around you that have always made you happy or picked you up. That people are not as bad as they seem given half the chance and those little queries in your heart may be hidden from others but not from a Higher power, He knows what’s in there and sometimes He gives you answers to them and its up to you how you take it. And that life isn’t so bad because you know you wake up to a place of peace.

And as we move into the 8th day of Ramadan and the coming weeks, we continue trying to inculcate positive things into our minds, our soul and our spirit with hope that this month would bear more fruit than we expect. I am grateful for such a great month, for the rezki that I have been blessed with at every iftar, my friends who have always been around and the new friends who I have recently crossed paths with. All of you in your own special way have been a blessing to me and I am so happy to have you in my live ……

Have a blessed day everyone and don’t forget to smile …