Glad Thursday is finally over...

been an emotional roller coaster ride since this morning. Had to keep it together . phone calls at work are not my cup of tea especially it is bearer of bad news. My grandmother was admitted to the hospital again this morning. She was unconscious. My mom tried to wake her up this morning and but to no avail . Gramdma would usually be asking or making some noise in the am but not today..... ambulance was called and she was transported to the hospital. They were afraid it might be a stroke again - not good for someone her age and she has had her share of 3 strokes in the pass three years or so... so that brought some anxiety to the day ... next call came and i was told her blood pressure shot up to 220 .. again not a good sign .... This is her second hospital visit in the last week or so .... first was for a hip fracture ... poor grandma :( .. its heartbreaking .. .. so it was an emotionally charged day.. when the call finally came at about 4pm everything seem calm. My grandmother came out of her unconcious state and is stable.. the 'aftershocks' of the mornings events kinda stuck... right now is all about prayers for her ...

i havent heard from 'C' since yesterday ... my mind has been wondering about that too... trying to think positive ... praying & hoping too. sometimes i feel he is around ... sometimes i just dont know.. i am relying much on my instict these days ... i just hope i hear from him soon .. i miss him and there is so much i need to say but sometimes i feel i should not ... ...... i miss him ... ..

my moms cousin called me too today .... she didnt sound happy .. worrying about my grandma (her late moms sister)... my grandma asked for her .. my aunt is weak too having had surgery a month ago to remove her fibroids..... she cried ... i think everythings a little overwhelming for the whole family .... she mentioned about how hard it was to lose a mother ..... she talked ... all i could do was listen ...

mom called yesterday to say how in pain my grandma was ... i could imagine how she sounded having witnessed it myself when i was there a few weeks ago ...

i am glad thursdays over.. infact i want this whole month to be over asap .....sometimes there are months you just wish you could forget ...... .. what a month april was ...

this is the time we all need faith ... lots of it .. ..