End of the weekend ...

And another weekend comes to an end - and soon another month. I wonder whats in store this week for me - sometimes i dont dare ask myself - we are always hoping for the good but sometimes thats not what we get - but im planning to start the new on a a positive happy note - and hopefully it stays that way ...

In the am a few lines from 'C" lights up the day but that was it nothing else said after that... my reaction was a whole lot diffrent from calmness but none the less the non respond from him i took it as a server problem - sometimes we have to tell ourselves things so we can stay focused with the task at hand .... the day at hand so on and so forth ...anyways ....

On the diet front - i had grilled chicken & vegetables today ..and lots of water - i had a sip of low fat yogurt fruit drink with wheat grass which is sooo yummyy .... For breakfast well shall i say brunch i had cereal and papaya and that kept me full for a while and the amount of water im drinking - i think im a leaking faucet *blushes* ... that was probably too much information anyways the diet is going well i think i will weigh myself again on february 1st - ive already marked that down on my calendar - so come Thursday its another weight in. Excercise wise its been mainly the trim walk cd and some age defying cd - you know to tone tightened lose ends lol ... and yeah im still hurting all over - like they say no pain no gain i wonder if that applies to matters of the heart hahaha ... anyways ....

I finally got me a cooling pad for my laptop - cute little thing with 3 fans - like i said before i am a laptop virgin lol .. So getting the cooling pad was actually 'C"'s idea so i can blog more which i have .... So today was basically that, getting some things for one of the kids birthday at school- relaxing , reading and mind wondering , watching the news mind wondering and what not ... and then there was uncluttring - i am thinking of giving my room a face lift and this means getting rid of a lot of stuff that i have outgrown ... toys clothes bags etc etc etc ... I think this year i shall keep things at a mininal - importtant and dear things - those which are of no importance shall be disposed off or if they are still in working condition given away ...

Like always while uncluttering i will find things i have kept like writings and what nots and today i found many of that - i laugh when i look back my journal entries and yet ponder at others wondering was that me lol .. well ill keep things in suspence for a while - maybe just maybe ill blog a little about what i found in a later blog entry .......

So that was my day ... my quiet windy looks like its about to rain Sunday but it never did ....

Now i think its bed time though i am not really sleepy as yet but i will none the less try if not im coming backhere - ha hahahha ... so world nite nite and blog ya laters ... im off to la la land ...

horoscope

'Something really wonderful is going on right under your nose if you're willing to see blessings in all sorts of strange disguises. The possibilities are endless once you open your mind, heart and spirit.'.....

That was my horoscope for yesterday lol .. Hmmmmmmmm something really wonderful I really wonder what is – I wouldnt mind the someone really wonderful lol ..I see little blessings in life and my heart & mind is always open so ummm errrr bring it on ;)) … but anyways .. I enjoy reading my horoscopes – sometimes it seems real sometimes its far off. Maybe its coincidental and maybe the real deal .. so who knows right?

Weddings Galore

Love is in the air …. Cupids been busy and blah blah blah lol .. Mid 2007 is a time of weddings it seems .. Come May, June & July I have weddings lined up –- starting from late May - onwards and these are first cousins , second cousins , relatives & close friends … What timing huh – I think they chose this month mainly because it’s the school holidays here in Singapore which starts on the 26th of May & ends on the 24th of May – in Malaysia however the vacations start 2 weeks after..Seeing weddings are tiring everyone decides to have it during the school holidays … which is fine but for the one in July it looks like I would have to take leave –.. so we will see .. Anyways whose getting married this year?????

Here goes the list ……..
In late May a relative is getting married – like always I only know the mothers name. I know the daughters but not really close but when we do meet at weddings and such there is that usual conversations.. I think to see the rationale of attending the wedding of those not so close to you there is that need to understand the relationship between the community and it dates back to ancestors – the friendships forged between the older generations. So that is brought over to the present time … hence regardless because of those ties we have to turn up …This wedding will be in Singapore ..

Fatma is my first cousin, my mom’s younger brother’s daughter. She would be the second daughter to get married. Her wedding will be in Johore, Malaysia

Next will my first cousin Mariam – honestly don’t know the grooms name – but shes getting married in June too – - on the 9th ..Her wedding will be in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.

Fatma and Nawi’s wedding will be that following week on the 16th …

Then there is a close relatives grand daughter – honestly I don’t know her granddaughters name nor her mom but I know the grandmother lol .. she is a really nice lady – she is one those ladies whom you meet and you get a warm feeling. Sometime who is right across the room but you will make that effort to greet her. I think her sincerity just shines through – so going to the wedding will be well worth for it for her sake. She would also be the lady who will be cooking for my cousins wedding.

On the 10th of June is the wedding of my second cousin – another one that cannot be missed – her mom is really close to my mother – her mom actually helped her make cakes in her younger days – another compulsory wedding … Since her wedding is a day after my first cousin there is that need to leave extra early from Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia Sunday …

It would have been so much easier if the weddings were all in Singapore … but that’s not the case – two are in Malaysia and another two in Singapore - Lord have mercy its just as confusing as im typing this blog entry lol..

Anyways in July my friend in Kuala Lumpur is getting married too so that will be another trip to there …
After this I think ill be all wedding out ….

A little Midnight Rant

its been a very long week and i think i was just drained - it seems by weeks end i wasnt motivated to do anything -just taken over by sheer letharyg - the weekends time to recuperate - i doubt thats happening lol cos its midnight here and i am still up ... i am behind in many things thats not work related seeing how busy ive been - so yesterday i figued i would just go out and have an iffa day - that didnt happen .... my intention was to go to town, browse for some books at Borders speaking of which i received a 40 percent off voucher from them then head out to starbucks to write some - i did go out but was just wayyyyyyyy too tired and you know the icky feeling of an incoming flu .... to do what i planned - so i had some lunch and came home and laze around reading taking a little nap .. watched a little tv and TA-DA here i am ... I miss writing all together so here i am writing & reading all the nice stuff i am getting on my 360 page & messages from friends - THANK YOU! ..

I had a few minutes blackout a while ago ... it was scary seeing that i am home alone - i tried to switch the air con on and everything shut down :(( wahhhhhh .... i think it blew a fuse cos of the rain - i lite some candles and had to hunt for the main switch lol ... what a time for that to happen lol anyways powers back on lights on now ,,phewwwww!!!

I just had to include my friends Barbs quote on my comment page lol .. Just how true is this ...

If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!

I guess I know how our parents must feel lol …Thanks Barb for that … Speaking of kids, Leena was just mentioning some things about her kids which made me smile lol .. I guess i deal with the kids antics for like 5 days a week and that in itself is overwhelming - what more parents who have them for a whole week! But lets face it inspite of their misbehaving - there is always something about that that can make us smile - kids they sure do have a way ...

While having lunch today i saw all these young familes with chidren and what not - i would think they were about my age or maybe younger - it was really nice seeing them - makes my heart ache for my own but anyways ... the little boy was calling mommy mommy - i bet his mom was proud of that ..Makes me wonder how she felt the first time he called her mom - i bet it brought tears to her eyes .. sometimes i wonder if i would ever get the chance to hear those words or have a laborous life of bearing & taking care of children ... till i get answers i guess there is always hope

Obviously with the long week i kept missing "C" which really sucks - its funny how when he is there i am not and when i am here he isnt ...... grrrrrrrr just so not fair .. sometimes timezones can be a real pest .. oh well ... like he says maybe later ..

Snow & News

Mid week - a week after school started whoopiee feels like a year..... lol i think im just really tired i dont why .. maybe its becos of the detox diet im on or just mentally drained who knows - what i would give for a few days of holidays now lol i know im weird that way sometimes as most people would gather i am weird for most of the times ....... Its mid week the week where Bush plans to send in more troops to Iraq, where the ill fated indonesian budget liner Adam Air wreckage still havent been found much to the dismay of the family & friends of the victims - just some of the world events that seem to be taking centre stage ..and me questioning many things that i have been given to read and questioning what i have beentaught all my life but anyways ......

Snow - i was just over at Hek's page and she had a post about snow that fell in Mexico some 40 years ago and i thought it was awesome ... What was weird though was that i dreamt about snow last night lol i could feel how soft & cold it was and i was like a little kid playing in the snow- i was like a hermit crab out of its shell -exclaiming on my the snows so soft it feels so nice lol and to think we have NO snow ever and if it ever did snow it would clearly be a miracle - what i would do for some of that right now for a lot of things ... Anyways Singapore being a tropical isle the closest thing we get to snow is man made and an ice skating ring which is of course man made - but im pretty sure it doesnt feel like the real thing ...
It rained again last night for a little while i think - nights are warmer now me no likie - these days it rains for a while then the humidity sets in and it makes you feel all icky - i guess now its time to bring out all the whites shirts & tee shirts to fight off all the heat.. Oh mom nature you need a vacation .. Isnt it us to whine lol about the weather .. its funny how here i am in all this heat hoping for some cool air and other people are hoping that the snow would go away lol .. such is life huh ...

Im so tired ... .. grrrrrrrrrrr i wish i wasnt this tired .. i had enough sleep im sure seeing that i have cut down on my late nights - i wish i could have coffee ,,,,, i wish i wish i wish ...

Untamed Heart

Caroline: He doesn't make sense, I don't make sense, together we make sense.

A line from the movie untamed heart which will be playing on one of the cable movie channels pretty soon.. I have never seen the movie but those words seem to stick with me ... Sometimes things in life don’t make sense we don’t make sense neither to people yet we love them anyway and they love us .. But it seems when two people who don’t make sense individually seem to click make sense when they are together – hmm I may confused myself there lol well anyways .. its hard to put into words but the way I see two people who are trying to make sense of life seem to do better with each other – and this would mean through love care & support – one acts as support for the other .. So from the point of view of people watching they may not have a chance but in their own little world they seem to do ..

Btw the movie stars Marisa Tomei & Christian Slater .Untamed heart is a 1993 written byTom Sierchio It mixes drama with romance and comedy and tells the story of a young woman, always unlucky in love, trying to find happiness with a very shy young man. The whole unlucky in love sounds so darn familiar lol …

Caroline (Tomei) is a young woman working as a waitress who is always unlucky in love. Adam (Slater) is a shy busboy who saves Caroline when two men try to rape her on her way home one night. She then gets to know him. They become close, but she finds out his past, and the attackers come after Adam for revenge. As their relationship progresses, Caroline discovers that Adam has a heart defect, though he claims he has a baboon heart.

Roger Ebert, a film critic of the Chicago Sun-Times felt that the movie was "kind of sweet and kind of goofy, and works because its heart is in the right place." Hal Hinson of The Washington Post said that the film "is hopelessly syrupy, preposterous and more than a little bit lame, but, still, somehow it got to me." Vincent Canby of The New York Times, said that the movie "is to the mind what freshly discarded chewing gum is to the sole of a shoe: an irritant that slows movement without any real danger of stopping it."

Maybe just maybe I will catch it when it comes on … who knows

my rainy tuesday

its lunchtime and i figured i would blog a little - i think my minds on mental overdrive - been reading & reading and thinking & thinking about everything under the sun well emm rrr rather rain ... - i think i need a break lol to think i just came out of one lol anyways .. it finally rained today! YES YES YES! The past few days have been way too warm for my liking and very early this morning i think about a little after 2 am it rained .. whoopieeeeeeeeee!!! The weather man said it will continue to rain till tomorrow so im fine with it ..,.. Last night when i went outside to bring in my laundry the sky was errrie but prety none the less.. There were grey clouds, reds in the background - i tried taking a picture but nothing came out lol so so much for that ...

I received an email from 'C' with more reading materials hehee i dont mind really gives me an excuse to sit at Starbucks and read - i think when you get real serious things to read - an open space is the best place to do it hahah but i dont think i will be doing that today - i will just go straight home and read it in the comforts of my living room ... I started my new book today and i think i will go check some more books out this weekend - well see ....

i am so glad my cousin came back - really gave us a chance to catch up and spill our guts about all thats happening in our lives. If anything i think we open more to each other than anyone else in the family - we face the same struggles and we are both trying to make something of our lives. I do miss her ... sometimes i wish NY was just a walk away lol .. As great as family seems - i find it hard to open up to my family these days i dont know why - i have kept much of what i feel and think to myself - maybe its a safety mechanism for fear of being judged i dont know but things are easier with Deena maybe because of the age and the fact that we spend much of our time growing up in the same house ... We both agree that we do miss the good ole days when there was more closeness ........

anyways ......... the rain keeps falling - seems to be getting stronger . i just love the sound of it and the look of it outside my window ..