Before Its Too Late

You take bits & pieces of a song & you come with a thought, an inspiration, and an invitation. The thought of immortality, of doing things without calculating the risks, to just do whatever it is you want whatever the risk whatever the outcome. Be it good or bad at the end of it all you knew you did it anyways.

We take risks in love even when its unrequited we love anyways, we take risks in embarking on things we never do and we take risks in letting go always for the betterment of the other and maybe for ourselves so we can experience what we solely deserve – our deepest desires hopes & dreams. Sometimes we spent our lives doing the same mundane things over and over again and wonder if there is something more for us … maybe when that happens its good to look inside ourselves and find that calling, that dream, that goal that we have kept in side of us because of the circumstances and sometimes because of others. We sometimes adapt to the circumstance instead of letting it work to our advantage. And then there is about living our lives for other people that we forget to live for ourselves.

When you lose something or someone close to you, it really gives new meaning to the term ‘life is short’. Especially when it’s a child, you really sit down and start to revaluate your own life. The choices you’ve made, the mistakes, the accomplishments. You evaluate your relationship with just about everyone and you evaluate your relationship with God and your own spirituality. Have been doing what you should have, have you been good to people, have strong are your convictions, how strong is your faith. There is that urgency, that need to good, to live your live to fullest. Call it an eye opening experience if you may. A realization. Maybe somewhere in your subconscious you say a silent prayer so that you’re able to make sense of things, for things to get better and all the other things that your heart desires. And I think most important it prompts you to take risks live love

Life throws us so many opportunities and chances and sometimes we are so afraid to take it afraid of the outcome maybe its better to worry of the ‘what ifs’ or ‘what could have been’ rather than the outcome. We spend our lives make excuses for doing things only to regret it later down the road – which really has no point in it.

There have been probably been many instances in life where I could have taken risks and I have chosen not too out of fear of losing, hurting and many other things but this song and recent events gets you to thinking. Take risks, live , never be afraid to love, give you all , give your heart, break down the falls, go to new places, try something new, experience a life apart from yours because you don’t know …. And in the words of the song, Before its Too late .. Live dream risk before its all over …

I wondered through fiction to look for the truth

Buried beneath all the lies

And I stood at a distance

To feel who you are

Hiding myself in your eyes

And hold on before it's too late

Until we leave this behind

Don't fall just be who you are

It's all that we need in our lives

And the risk that might break you

Is the one that would save

A life you dont live is still lost

So stand on the edge with me

Hold back your fear and see

Nothing is real til it's gone

So live like you mean it

Love til you feel it

It's all that we need in our lives

my babies at the zoo

It’s a rather nice midweek here in Singapore – it rained for a brief moment then the sun came out again, there is still the dark clouds hanging over us, but the sun seem to be coming shining regardless, goes to show the power of persistence of the sun in trying to brighten the day doesn’t it? ..

I am sitting here just relaxing, the kids have all gone home and I am here just printing out some worksheets for class tomorrow. Today was an exhausting day the zoo and I don’t mean the school I meant the zoo heehee. We took the kids on an excursion to the zoo seeing that it went on par with the theme we are doing at school. I think handling 3 classes of 5 and 6 year olds isn’t as bad as I thought especially when you have more than 3 teachers. Tomorrow it’s the 3 & 4 year olds turn to go with a different group of teacher.

The kids were lucky enough to catch the animals being fed and an elephant show just before we were scheduled to head back to school. You can only imagine their reaction and excitement. Their grin their laughter. Their energy was super charged I wonder if their parents put some caffeine in their drinks. From the moment we boarded the bus for the zoo, the were in high spirits, talking , singing – it was just so much fun I am sure they are thinking this is much better than class hahaah. At the end of the day it was a whole different scenario ;)) most of them fell asleep – my poor tired babies ..

I must say it was a fun day – you’re obviously bombarded with the constant questions and information from the kids but its always fun. Some kids would go teacher ‘Why do the animal do that’ or teacher ‘did you know’ – the inquisitive and the knowledgeable …. Such innocence in their eyes.

And of course we can’t forget those who love to stray away from the group – I was so close to having lost of the kids, if I did I won’t be a very happy camper. I am not big on incident reports and having to write one after a long day is something I don’t look forward but I am glad another teacher saw one of the kids before he got the chance to disappear. His excuse from walking away was he wanted to go to the animals and let them walk like us, next to us. He wants to see them free I guess. Sweet intentions thought. He was one of those kids whose love for animals is very deep rooted. He cried when the rabbit died, he cried when the fish died – a lot more than most kids. I think he is just more sensitive and compassionate than the regular kids.

Since were on the subject of lost, I wonder if there can be an improvised method so that the kids don’t stray away from the group – I am thinking not because I think as kids we tend to get lost once in our childhood be it when were on a school excursion or out with parents – me I have I gotten lost more than a few times. *grin*

This week is the last week, and its more fun than lessons at school. We have school vacations next week for a week. Come Friday we have teacher’s day celebrations and a movie day. Meeting the parents days are over so my stress level is now at an all time low as far as school is concerned aside from that it’s a whole different story. And so my papers are done time to clip them and I am heading home.

Hope everyone is having a great mid week!

Ummi & Iffa's Day Out ..

Ummi is mother in Arabic and thats what i call my mom .. Shes the cutest mom anyone could ever ask for. I wish i had more recent pictures of me and her but my mom is not big on taking pictures since my dad passed away years ago. Sometimes when we take her pictures we would catch her off guard and when we do get ready to hear her get pissed off - all in good faith. Sometimes though we have to reason with her so she will - this is a rare occurrence but we seize the moment like you would not know ..

The picture is was taken on my 1st Birthday . see the merry go round birthday cake my mom made it what can i say i am an only child and her little brat to spoil silly ..

Well anyways yesterday my mom and I had a mother daughter day – lunch, tea, talk – I miss those days. I have been busy here and she has been busy in Johore we hardly get our heart to heart but yesterday was an exception. I got off work early and my mom happened to be in town, firstly to send my uncle & aunt off to Bangkok and then shopping for my nephew Ali.

A little about my aunt and uncle – they are my late cousin Omar’s parents. My aunt is still grieving (she started a little late than most of us) and she did just so while they were in the car at the petrol station – she saw a Doraemon comic book and it just hit her hard. Omar loved that cartoon and he had lots of those comic books. When she is at home, everything little corner serves as a reminder, his books, his clothes – I am sure it is very heartbreaking being a mother who has to mourn her son .. Anyways, all of us suggested she took a break, get away from the house, away from everything that reminded her of him, so she is off to Bangkok and hopefully she will feel a little better when she comes home. So please say a little prayer for her and my uncle, that she will be ok …

Back to my day out with mom, notice how often I get side tracked ;)) …. My mom and I went to Parkway Parade Shopping Centre in Marine Parade. That use to be our hang out when we lived closer. It has changed a whole lot since I was last there which was I believe years ago. One of the newest thing that I liked was the fact that a Borders Bookstore was opening there woo hoo so I don’t have to make the trip to town though I am sure the Borders in town in bigger but anyways, that was a definite plus point – getting lost in books much closer to where I live woo hoo ..

My mom wanted to go to Mothercare© to initially get some toiletries for my new born nephew but when we saw the baby clothes we went goo goo and gaa gaa. They were the cutest little outfits – I felt pangs in heart wishing I had one of my own to spoil with all this cute outfits. We browsed around before finally getting him two sets of jimmies and one of them had ‘when I sleep I dream of mummy, daddy and cuddles’ – just how adorable is that. I can only imagine how adorable my nephew would look in it. My mom was saying how big he has grown and how responsive he is to the people around him. After he is fed, instead of sleeping he will goo going and smiling and laughing especially when someone comes and tickle him or carry him . I wonder what babies think about when they are laughing and smiling like that .. My cousin was saying how she liked to wake him up when he is sleeping hahah bad aunt huh .. she lives up in Kuala Lumpur whereas baby Ali lives in Johore so she doesn’t get to see him as often but when she does – she makes sure she can see him awake .. Poor baby huh .. :D ..

Amidst all that looking and smiling at baby clothes, I think the one thing I wanted to do was leave the place. I don’t know, I think my motherly longings was kicking in and it just kills me sometimes cause I wish I had a little baby – nothing more that I want in the world than to have my own baby and I am not shy to admit it. I look at mothers – I feel like they have served their purpose in life, as women as wives as mothers. I watch my cousin during her pregnancy and seeing a child grow in her – one of life’s biggest & grandest miracles. And so I think my mom knew I was a little upset so we picked out what we wanted paid for it and left.

After Mothercare and a little window shopping we went for a late lunch at the Banquet. I really liked the location of this banquet – it was opened air on the 5^th floor and it had greens around – it was actually a nice place to just sit for hours and watch the world go by. My moms’ favorite place to eat too. It has a variety of stalls ranging from Malay, Indian, Chinese, Japanese & western dishes. My mom had some Chinese rojak which is actually a kind of Chinese salad. It has tried tofu, bean sprouts, cucumber, pineapple & a few other vegetables and its all mixed in spicy sauce and its oh so yummy. So we shared that. My mom then had fried noodles and I had some wanton noodles – we were stuffed after that obviously..

We talked a lot during that time. I had a heart to heart to her about all that’s been taking place in my life, changes, choices, decisions. This period of transition that is taking place. I told her my hopes, my longings and regrets. The men in my life or the lack there off hahahaaha … Why do the subject of men always crop up in conversations with mom? Hahahaah .. It was nice that she just listened and gave me input instead of nagging or saying I was wrong or right. She merely gave advice and listened more than anything. It’s been a long while and today I think we made up for lost time. It was really really nice.

After all that talking we left for home. She went back home to Johore soon after – and I cant wait for her to come here again this weekend ;)) ….

Till I Can Make it on My Own

Till I can make it on my own – Martina McBride

I'll need time
To get you off my mind
I may sometimes bother you
Try to be in touch with you
Even ask too much of you
From time to time

Now and then
Lord ya know I'm gonna need a friend
Til I get used to losing you
Let me keep on using you
Til I can make it on my own
I'll get by
But no matter how I try
There'll be times you know I'll call
Chances are my tears will fall
And I'll have no pride at all
From time to time
But they say
Oh there'll be a brighter day
But til then I'll lean on you
That's all I mean to do
Til I can make it on my own
Surely someday I'll wake up and see the mornin sun
Without another lonely night behind me
Then I'll know I'm over you and all my cryin's done
No more hurtin memories to find me
But til then
Lord ya know I'm gonna need a friend
Til I get used to losing you
Let me keep on using you
Til I can make it on my own

Words to a song yet hits so close to home …. That’s what my blast have been in recent days and it is pretty sad no doubt about it but I figured I would change it tonight to something more uplifting or inspiring. Blasts may change, as day into night, but the fact remains……..

Surely someday I'll look up & see the morning sun, Without another lonely night behind me, Then I'll know I'm over you & all my cryin's done, No more hurtin' memories can find me.

Like me everyone wishes for that. But sometimes you wonder if you really want to be over someone seeing what they brought into your life especially when that person brings a sense of security in your life, a meaning, something to look forward too. When you’ve lost someone or you think you’ve lost someone there seems to be that sense of void, emptiness and you attempt to find ways to fill it – through denial, through creating a world where you know you will be safe, doing things to get them off your mind but you know at the end of the day, you just keep coming back to them. A love so deep does that to people. Maybe someday the sun will shine, the void will be filled but till then ……………………….

Nisfu Syaaban & my thoughts ..

Tonight it’s the full moon but I can’t see it where I am, I usually can. There is suppose to be two full moons – aka Mars being way close to Earth – if it that’s true than I think I may have missed the greatest this moon wise during this life time .. anyways ..

Tonight also is the night of Nisfu Syaaban. It’s a night of blessings, of sins being forgiven and a night where prayers are answered and it is a reminder to all Muslims that Ramadhan is about two weeks or so away.

Syaaban is the 8^th month of the Muslim Calendar and according to sources one of the Prophet Muhammad’s (PBUH) favorite months.

Nisfu syaaban is not a Muslim holiday but more like a religious observance.The two months before Ramadhan which is Rejab and Syaaban are known to be two of the most blessed months before Ramadhan. Blessings are promised to those who fast on the 7^th , 8^th and 9^th month of the Muslim Calendar.

In blessed syaaban, we are promised blessings and goodness in abundance. In the words of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) ..

‘Syaaban is my month, and Ramadhan is the month of my people. Syaaban is a month of forgiveness and eradication of sins and Ramadhan a month of purification of the soul’.

During this month, people are known to fast for a day or a whole month. Fasting in Syaaban and Rejab is not obligatory but it’s like an added incentive, bonus if you could call in our spiritual journey.

The special night of Nifsu starts way before night time. We are encouraged to say special supplications all through the day before the night.

On the night of Nifsu Syaaban, our family would usually gather together to do the special prayers together. We would gather together at grandma’s house in the evening. We do the obligatory prayers in this case Maghrib , together and then sit and read the Yaa Sin which is a verse from the Quran. We read it three times, with breaks after each, reading a special supplication for this blessed month of Syaaban. We would sit and do this until the call for prayer for the final prayer of the day which is Isyak.

During this time, we ask God for whatever it is that we want, most importantly we ask for His forgiveness, we ask for His blessings, His mercy for ourselves, our parents, our family and the humanity on the whole.

On a personal note, I think this time spent in prayer not only gives us a sense of peace but it always brings the family together. This year however it was an individual feat for everyone seeing that the head of the household, my uncle and his wife are out of town – which isn’t as bad, one on one time with God is always nice and I am a believer than yes prayer has tremendous powers, its about bringing your self closer to Allah, gives you a sense of peace & serenity, it fills your soul and on a night such as this all the negatives that seem to have transpired in recent days seem to go away .. subhanallah J … even if only for a moment and it does make it a little more easier ..

Hope everyone had a blessed evening …

Cupcakes in the green

And green was the way to go and im not even Irish hahaa.. As you can see it is all green cupcakes right down to the frosting .. I guess I wasn’t kidding when I said I loved green – the color of peace, the color of envy, the color of my many days of chats with ‘c’ .. anyways, why I went all green is cause of the pandan or screw pine leaves that I used for this recipe. I actually had a dream of this cupcake so I decided to follow my dream and make this recipe – in other words it’s a dream come true though I wish I had other dreams that would come true but anyways …

The recipe for this was from an improvised devil’s cake recipe. But instead of cocoa powder I used fresh screw pine leaves or pandan leaves, I blended it with milk. It turned out to be this beautiful green liquid and it smells amazing. What can I say I love the smell of pandan especially in the car and the air condition really gives the car a refreshing smell, or simply in tea. Ooooooooooo so delicious im almost drooling now … ;)) ..

Pandan or screw pines leaves are widely used in Asian cuisines especially in our desserts - its used to infuse syrups, used as bases, it enhances taste and of course

gives out that wonderful aroma. Here is a picture of of the pandan leaves .....

Anyways, the cake process was fun though tedious – add this minus that divided this. I didn’t use the whole recipe just in case it back fired (talk about confidence huh). I made half and that too was a bit much. The sizes of my cupcakes varied this time round – I did a baby, a mini and a standard sized one, sounds like on big happy green family.

When the cake was in the oven, it emitted such an inviting smell. It’s almost intoxicating. There is just something about the smell of a cake baking in the oven especially a pandan based cake …. So finally after about 20mins the cake was done and I was really excited to taste it – hot and fresh out of the oven. I think I have a thing for all things hot out of the oven .. The taste of cake freshly out of the oven is indescribable – I prefer them then rather than when it’s cooled off for some reason – and this goes for all cakes except for fruit cake. And my pandan cupcake was no exception…..

Personally I liked it – everything was there though I think I have to figure a way to make it more fluffy and soft. There was enough moisture in the cake – it wasn’t dry which was a positive sign so in my book I think I did ok but the true taste test will be with mom - *bites fingernails* .. oh oh .. and that test did come .. She came over today and I got her to taste it – she said it was nice then I told her how I did and all that and I wished that it was fluffy, well according to mom, the best type of cakes for pandan leaves are sponge cakes any other way it doesn’t work – now in my mind I wanted to prove her wrong hahahah but she is the professional I am still her apprentice. So I would like to think I passed the cake test – in spite of it not being fluffy enough, mom liked it so did my cousin. Mom & I speak in Malay though I struggle translating English to Malay..

Mom explained that pandan cake was a little special than most cakes. It needs a special kind of baking tin and how you cool the cake is also crucial – it has to be alleviated for some reason or other. Advice taken, but I still am keen on tweaking the recipe even more when I get the chance so I can get the perfect green cupcakes – but till then I will enjoy my all green cupcakes with butter cream frosting just the way it is ……

sunday markets & what nots..

It’s a beautiful Sunday morning, well near noon now. I took a walk earlier this morning at the park downstairs then headed to the market for the fun of it. Sunday markets are a hassle way too many people – but what to do – this is when everyone goes to the market to do their weekly shopping. I realized how fishy after every market smell. Even when you’re near the fish stalls, the smell of fish tends to stick to you. Note to self: NO DATES right after a market trip hee hee..

I woke up relatively early this morning and thought I would give nature a visit. The usual crowds were at the park. The elderly people doing the tai chi, the fitness enthusiast who was running around the track, families taking an early morning walk and then there is me. I walk and I enjoy sitting on the bench watching the world go by – it’s a nice way to clear ones mind and get a fresh perspective of almost anything. I would like to think of it as my weekly energy charger. You get in one with nature, breathe clear your head and face another week – fully recharged and ready to go.

Breakfast was pancakes again this morning – I had leftover batter from yesterday. I improvised it a little so I could have a different kind of pancake. I was in the mood for chocolate chip pancakes, but since I didn’t have chocolate chips I decide to make chocolate oatmeal pancakes. All I added to the fluffy pancake recipe was unsweetened cocoa powder, some oatmeal, brown sugar and adjusted the consistency with milk – I have to say it tasted ok for me at least ;)) …

Usually on a Sunday morning, I am in front of the idiot box at 11am watching the Criminal Minds repeats on cable – I am happy to say I took a different route. I dreamt about murders and what not and I think its either I watch way too much of the show or because I talk about it a lot with other people – I guess when you’re hooked you’re hooked.

And so back to the fishy market. I love markets – wet markets, dry markets, supermarkets. Like I get lost in the bookstores, I have the tendency to get lost in the markets. Looking at the vegetables, the multitude of colors it comes in, and seeing some rare vegetable that I have never seen – wondering what it’ll taste like. The vegetable sellers must have really great math skills, when they weigh the vegetables, and calculate your total spending, they don’t use a calculator nor a pen or paper its all by hard – amazing huh – I don’t think I could do that, but if could it would probably wont be as fast as them ;)) ….

I love fish – so the fist stalls is one of my favorite stalls. I like bargaining with them – mom insists I mastered the art of bargaining. Trust me when I say my mom is a pro at it – sometimes I would have to tell her to take the deal but she refuses and say that she can get the seller to bring the price down even lower – this is when I hush and I am proud to say for a lot of the times she gets her way .. Must be her charm but I think its persistence – the key is when you bargain and they don’t give it to you pretend to walk away .. heehee..

Well anyways, I bought some fish today actually I bought ‘ ikan siakap’ or sea bass. I bought some tiger shrimps – I am thinking of making prawn curry hmm or maybe friend rice oh maybe fried shrimps hmmmm decisions decisions decisions .. ummmm prawn salad would be yummy too light easy and fast …… and so anyways,

Next was the vegetable stall. I feel like a little piggie who went to the market with this morning’s blog entry heehe.. I bought one each of a red, green and yellow bell pepper – I was thinking of making stir fried or maybe some salsa later this week. I bought a beautiful semi avocado, tomatoes, and these fine green beans and when I say fine I mean thin. Its you’re regular French beans – it’s extremely thin and it has a darker shade. This vegetable tastes really good when stir fried with garlic, onion, green & red chilli, and shitake mushroom and oyster sauce. The bean doesn’t lose its crunch so eating it is quiet an enjoyable experience. I didn’t do much marketing as I would when mom is here so that was all I bought for today maybe I will have another marketing adventure next week when mom is in town….

I am thinking of trying out recipes today but I am so lazy heeeeheee – I know its bad but sometimes the lazy bones do creep in even when it comes to things you love doing. I am trying to improvise my chocolate cupcake recipe to make it into a pandan cupcake recipe – I just love green and I think pandan cupcakes would be really pretty and significant especially for Eid (the Muslim festival after Ramadhan). Hmmm I think might just do that and ill report in later with the results – keeping fingers crossed.

So till later Have a great Sunday everyone!

Warm Smile .... Piercing Gentle eyes

This was a story that I wrote last year … I don’t know why but I felt like sharing it – it’s a story about Dhelia and what she hopes for. Dhelia is a fictional character though the story is quiet real .. Anyways here is the story of Dhelia in her quest for mr warm smile & piercing gentle eyes …. with it is the song that inspired it all & reminded her of him ..

Bruised is what Dhelia feels today.. she thinks to herself if he doesn’t feel the same way about me that does not mean he hs the right to make fun about my feelings for him. In spite of how she was feeling she kept her smile on and pretended that she didn’t see what he wrote. She went on with him as if nothings happened …. ..

….. Warm Smile .. Piercing Gentle eyes …

Oh its impossible Dhelia thought to herself. He could never love me or ever want too. We are from two different worlds. Next to him I am just a nobody she thinks to herself as she looks at his pictures. His smile melts her heart.. He makes her smile like no one ever could as cliché as that may sound. How could someone so perfect not be in the perfect situation she wonders? He is everything yet so out of grasp. She knows he is in demand. Capable of finding women – sometimes she feels women just drop at his feet like flies (not the best of comparisons) but highly likely the truth.. Yes he has everything.. How could anyone not love she said softly as she runs her fingers across his picture tracing his face .. She gently kisses the picture and tells him how much she loves him – something that he doesn’t like to hear but he wasn’t there to hear her say those words then. She believes that it is important to tell someone that you love them even if they don’t say it back or feel that way. But in recent days she has resisted. She has kept her feelings and emotions under wraps tho she flirts with him occasionally.. He is obviously oblivious to her true feelings for him at this time…

He sent her pictures of sunsets today.. Something he always said reminded him of her. He thought about her when he saw them – but now she wonders if they still do. The sunsets were gorgeous nothing she has ever seen before, her mind then drifts …. How wonderful she thinks if they could catch sunsets together.. Sitting by the beach, or somewhere in the desert, just the both of them holding hands. Looking at sunsets admiring the beauty that God has so graciously given them. She felt a longing for him and she felt her tears run down her cheeks – if only she thought..

She clearly misses him. His piercing eyes never leaves her.. His smile . All play so vividly in her mind. He seems to consume her mind even in sleep..

The day changed in her part of the world .. Night time turned to early morning a new day amidst the late hour. 240am she though I should be asleep as he is know .. she remembers how he looks like when he sleeps . she smiles. He looks so peaceful. She feels herself caressing the side of his face as he falls into a deep slumber sweet soldier resting admists mortars and flying bullets.. she then realizes he is not by her side .. she holds her tears back in .. fighting the feelings … He doesn’t like me crying.. I cant cry she thought. She fights it hard for his sake..

She lays back and started to think good thoughts of him.. as she does so a song comes on the radio.. the song that took her back to reality.. the song they loved.. one that soothed them both.. The words of the song struck a cord with her ..she wanted to do those things for him .. be by his side..

She remembered him saying .. “ someday some lucky guy will get to experience this “ she asked him what .. he said this song .. some lucky guy will get to experience, the words, the meaning of this song with you . she just smiled when he said that .. in her heart she says I want that lucky guy to be you ..

She drifts back to the present ….

She knows its not to be .. Though she holds on to that, she feels that holding on to hope isn’t such a bad thing too because sometimes that’s all a person has …

©me.iffa.February 2006

Recipe - Grandma's Fried Beef

So it s time for recipes .. This recipes is way overdue a weeks late I think .. Anyways, better late then never. This particular dish is from my grandmother’s time. Its actually a simple dish – it gets cooked faster if you used a pressure cooker but a little longer in the pan but either way it comes out well.

The dish in question is called Daging Goreng Baba .. translated from Malay it means mean Grandma’s Fried Meat /Beef … Daging (meat) goring(fried) baba well that’s what I call my grandma. Though it sounds like grandmas meat thast being fried (hah that sounded morbid) fried meat which is obviously grossed its actually her recipe seeing I learnt it from her lol never mind I am confusing myself ..

This dish is nice on its own, with rice or combined with the takra dhall stew. I usually have them both together but it’s entirely up to you. If I remember right, they served this recipe with briyani rice at weddings and special functions - that was a long time ago. These days, its been incorporated into the daily menu at my household at least.

As with most of my recipes, I don’t have accurate measurements. It seems people in the olden days didn’t believe in that. To them it’s all about a pinch of this, a handful of that or they poured out right of the jar. I think they used their instinct to cook but at the end of it the dish comes out just right.

I have made this dish more than a few times and I will attempt to give as accurate measurement as possible. Feel free to add or reduce the amount of spices used.

It never seizes to amaze me how they people come up with great recipes with just the simplest of everyday ingredients. This I would think can be considered that… so without further ado, presenting the recipe of the old world ..

Daging Goreng Baba or Grandma’s Fried Beef .

Ingredients:-

400gms of beef (sliced about ½ inch thick)
3 tbsp meat curry powder
2 tbsp ginger garlic paste

2 medium onions (sliced & broken into rings)
2 tomatoes (sliced about an inch thick)
3 green chilies (sliced sideways)

2 tbsp Ghee (clarified butter)
1 tbsp olive oil
Salt to taste

Method:-

1. In a deep skillet or omelet pan, put the beef and curry powder, ginger garlic paste and a little salt. Add about 3 cups of water and mix well. 2. Boil it till the meat becomes tender. There is also the option of using the pressure cooker but I like slow cooking like this, keep adding water until the meat is tender.

3. When the water is all dried up and the meat is tender, add in the ghee and olive oil and fry the meat for about 5 mins stirring often or until its browed. Then add the onions, fry for another 2 mins before adding the chilli. Finally add the tomatoes. Stir for a few seconds and voila its ready

When its all done it should look something like this …..



Happy trying & tasting …

Recipe - Thakur Dhall

I thought id finish the second recipe , Takra dhall tonight – cause I think I am getting lazy at blogging again either that or I am just really really tired. Anyways the dish is an Indian dish obviously though im not sure which region it originates from. This is a delicious dhall (lentil) recipe handed to me by a sweet family friend from India. She is a great cook without a doubt and wasn’t stingy about sharing her family recipes. Anyways, this dish can be considered soup like, stew like. It’s best not too thick and yummy eaten with rice and my grandmother’s fried beef, eaten with just rice, or on it sown. I like to crumble some papadum (Indian crackers) and throw it in the mix either with or without rice and of course I think you can it with rice – it’s a great accompaniment for almost everything it seems.

the papadum

dhall with rice

This is one of those really simple recipes and I mean really simple with a long cooking time – because you have to wait for the dhall to cook. I for some reason don’t like to pre soak the lentils – my mom on the other hand she said it cuts down the cooking time – it probably does but I feel that the texture of the dhall is a little different when you soak it – just doesn’t work for me.

Anyways, for this dish I use the yellow lentils or thoor dhall. I think I blogged about this previously but here is the picture of the dhall that I use for this dish .These can be found at most Asian shops – this is the flat yellow dhall – don’t confuse it with the thicker version. I made that mistake, and the dish didn’t come out quite right.

Takra Dhall in English means spicy lentils hence the use of lots of chillies in it ..

Takra Dhall .

Ingredients:-

2- 4 hands full of yellow lentil or thoor dhall

1 tbsp ginger & garlic paste

1 tsp turmeric powder

2-3 green chilies chopped

1 tbsp mustard seeds

1 tbsp cumin seeds

10 pcs dried chilies or more if you like it hot (snip into small pieces)

2 medium sized onions sliced thinly

2 medium sized tomatoes chopped

Salt to taste

Vegetable oil

Directions:

1. Fill a medium sized pot half way through then add the lentils, diced green chilies, ginger garlic paste & turmeric. Cook it until the lentils are done.
   
2. In a frying pan, heat the oil and crackle mustard & cumin seeds. Add the dried chilies followed by onion fry until the onions are transparent then add in the tomatoes and keep frying until the tomatoes and soft.
   
3. Lower the heat from the boiling dhall and add the above friend ingredients. Add a little water. Add salt and let it simmer so that the flavors blend in this usually takes about 5 mins.


4. You don’t want a watery consistency. The final product will have some broken up lentil texture to it and it will look something like this ..
   

So the next time you’re in the mood for some Indian cookin, maybe you could give this very simple recipe a try I guarantee you wont regret it! Happy trying world!

Saturdays ......

Good morning world ........ its a beautiful Saturday morning - i can actually hear the busy birds chrip cheep cheep on a bad day they would be making a racquet .. i woke up early on a weekend Saturday - i guess when the phone rings at wee hours you dont but have a choice. It was my cousin - my uncles moving shop here in Singapore so they might come over after - thats a hint meaning Iffa make us something hahaah obviously that is yet to be confirmed... anyways i couldnt sleep after that so i woke up and made me some fluffy pancakes ....... .. It was gooodd especially with all that maple syrup dripping down the stack of pancakes ummmm i want more pancakes i want more pancakes ...... (needed the dramatics) ......

Yesterday was a really long day ( work in particular kind of made if an extremely long day and there are other personal issues - i guess thats why i chose not to blog - didn’t feel like it .. I dont know ... sometimes you just dont feel like writing even though you want to - i probably dont make sense then again that’s just the story of my life . But on the bright side, you have friends who in their own direct way make you smile and they stick by you. One such friend is my friend Ob – she’s the sweetest nicest and innocent person I know. She is from Thailand. There is a lot to be said for her sincerity. If you’re looking for genuine, she is it .. Then is Maria – shes young and she remind me of a little kid ever so eager to learn and she is a real sweet girl she is from the Phills. A student nurse if my memory serves me correctly. Then there is Ann, shes from Malaysia. I really look up to her – feels like I can learn a lot from her. Shes like an older sister I never had though she doesn’t look anything over 21 – if you go to her profile you will see what I mean heehehee I enjoy her blogs and the fact that she actually makes time to read her friends blogs or go and visit her friends pages , she takes an interest in her friends .. Anyways these are the three people that made what seem like a long day a little shorter – so thanks girls I love you!

Today is Lun Lun’s birthday! She is Mei Lan’s mom – just so everyone knows I am talking about pandas :P see that little cute panda on my photo page that’s her and its her mom’s birthday so HappY Birthday Panda Mom! Heehee.. Its been a while since I wrote about Mei lan . t I wanted to share this story from panda cup updates – its so cute. I like a sneaky panda cub - so here is a real short but very cute story on her ….

Friday, August 24

Can anyone guess what tomorrow is? It is Lun Lun's 10th birthday! So, everyone wish her a happy b-day tomorrow.

It has been cute over the last week in the morning when Lun Lun is trying to eat her a.m. biscuits on the scale. Mei Lan has discovered a way to sneak herself in and steal a biscuit or two away from mom. I still do not know how she has been doing it without Lun getting mad, because Lun loves her biscuits. All you see is Mei at the bowl of food, then all of a sudden she’s "running" away with a biscuit in her mouth, trying to find a corner to eat in. Mei is one sneaky little girl.
Joseph T. Svoke
Giant Panda Keeper II

In recent days it’s been plentiful days of discoveries, learning, questioning and well trying to make sense of it all. I don’t know but my cousins death in many way changed my out look and perspective on life – it altered many parts of my life. Sometimes it’s good sometimes its not. I know I am going through something but I am not sure what it is .. Grieving process maybe? I don’t know really One thing I know my highs are way highs and my lows way lows but I still manage to pick myself up in spite of it all so I would think that is something good. It’s hard to explain to people closest to you and if anything I don’t talk about it with them – why I don’t know. But I know I am more focused to do things, my priorities are more in place and I really know what I want now – not so bad is it ?

Sometimes when you write an honest letter to someone – and you say its everything, yet you leave some parts out for safety reasons or no reason at all and yet you feel that was what needed to be known to begin with yet you don’t know if you should write another letter focusing on the part you left out – hah im confusing myself maybe I am just speaking in codes maybe “C” knows what im talking about .. anyways .

I just found this beautiful quote.. Wouldn’t it be great to have found someone like that and experience something like this …….

I am like a falling star who has finally found her place next to another in a lovely constellation, where we will sparkle in the heavens forever.- Amy Tan

That’s it for now .. Time to look at other people’s works of art ;)) … so till later have a great Saturday world! Keep the peace spread the love!

a victim of savages ..

Its lunch time here at work and I can’t get the image of Youssif out of my mind especially when I look at my kids with all their sweet innocence. This time if anything should be the best times of their lives – they really live their childhood, be kids, be silly, have dreams, play, laugh cry have all the candy and the world and yet get away with it.. That’s childhood.. Curious inquisitive with out suffering.. Yet that’s not to be said for 5 yr Youssif. When I watched his story on television last night I was so overwhelmed and heartbroken. A kid with a big smile and big dreams before the incident is now reduced to anger and animosity and seclusion. Does a kid deserve a life like this? Here is the story about him , I took the liberty of cutting & pasting his story instead of just putting a link. Children’s issues are things closest to my heart so a little cut & paste doesn’t hurt …..



Boy, 5, doused in gas, set on fire by masked men
By Arwa Damon
Editor's note: CNN agreed not to use the full names of the mother and son in this article due to concern for their safety

BAGHDAD, Iraq (CNN) -- Five-year-old Youssif is scarred for life, his once beautiful smile turned into a grotesquely disfigured face -- the face of a horrifying act by masked men. They grabbed him on a January day outside his central Baghdad home, doused him with gas and set him ablaze.

It's an act incomprehensibly savage, even by Iraq's standards today. No one has been arrested and the motive remains unknown.

In a war-ravaged city torn by sectarian violence and marked by acts of vengeance, this attack's apparent randomness stands out as an example of what life has become in a place where brutality -- even against young children -- is a constant.

"They dumped gasoline, burned me, and ran," Youssif told CNN, pointing down the street with his scarred hands where his attackers fled.

As he sucked his thumb, he repeated, "I was burning." He tried to put the flames out himself.

It looks as though this boy's face melted and then froze into rivers cutting through swollen hard flesh. It's hard to see the energetic outgoing child his parents describe beneath the sullen demeanor that defines Youssif today.

"He's become spiteful, I am not sure why," said his mother, Zainab. "He is jealous of everyone. If I say the slightest thing to him, he cries. He's sensitive."

Even things like eating have become a chore. His face contorts when he tries to shovel rice into his mouth, carefully angling the spoon and then using his fingers to push the little grains through lips he can no longer

He has also become jealous of the baby sister he used to dote on. "I sit sometimes at night and cry," Zainab said, her voice heavy with guilt. "If only I hadn't let him go outside, if only I hadn't let him play."

It was on January 15 that masked men attacked her boy, their identities still unknown. Zainab said she was upstairs at the time.

"I heard screaming. I thought someone was fighting or something," she said.
She ran downstairs, saw her son and fainted. When she came to, she barely recognized her child. "His head was so swollen, you couldn't see his eyes, and his nose was pushed in."

"There was blood," she added, shuddering slightly. "The skin was melted off."
He spent two months in the hospital recovering from the severe burns.

These days Youssif spends most of his time indoors, in front of the computer. It's only then that traces of the 5-year-old in him emerge.

"He can't play outside with the other kids," Zainab said. "The other day they were playing, and he came in crying. I asked him, 'What's wrong?' and he said, 'They won't play with me because I am burned.'"

She said he once wanted to be a doctor and he loved kindergarten. "He used to be the one who would wake me up every morning, saying let's go to school," Zainab recalled.

She coaxed him to tell me the few words he knows in English. "Girl, boy, window, fan," he said, his voice barely audible, the words barely intelligible.

Doctors told the family there is little more they can do to help Youssif. The family can't afford care outside Iraq.

So Zainab has taken a massive risk by telling her story to the world. Her husband works as a security guard, and it's too dangerous for him to talk to the media.

"I'd prefer death than seeing my son like this," Zainab said.

All she wants is for someone to help her little boy smile again.

Article Source:- http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/meast/08/22/iraq.boy/index.html#cnnSTCText

There are more photos of Youssif here …. Some are graphic some depicts the sweetness and innocence of this boy before the incident..

http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/meast/08/22/iraq.boy/index.html#cnnSTCPhoto

How could people hurt such a sweet and innocent kid? What are his sins? All he wanted was to play with his friends. His attack would obviously go punished seeing that they didn’t know who the assailants were or what their motives were. And now this little kid is destroyed by irresponsible acts of men who call themselves men. There are probably more isolate incidences like these which have gone un reported. War is cruel in every sense of the world and the most innocent victims are the children who have no idea what it is all about........

I end my thoughts here for now .. maybe in another blog i will continue my vents but right now i just wanted the world to see his plight and hopefully some day he will be able to smile again and live his dream of becoming a doctor .. Even in a place like Iraq and the given situation - we have to have some sense of hope ..

blogthings in the wee hours ...

At the rate my life’s been going and seeing my luck with men I am thinking of throwing in the towel and give it a rest. Then I came along blogthings quiz of do I need a man and figured I would let a test decide for me if I need one hahhaa this ought to be good and according to the test and I stress the test I ….. .. (then again tests are not always right :P ) ….

You Don't Need a Man, but You Want One!

You like having a guy in your life, and overall, you prefer not to be single. You won't go out with a guy out of desperation.. you rather be alone. However, when you're single, you do tend to obsess a little over dating. Because no matter how good your single life is, it's better with a great guy around.

Do You Need a Man?

Just how true is this lol …. I for one know I don’t need a test to gauge just how cluttered my mind is …… anyways ta da the results ………. I went beyond the border line hah I reckon that’s a cause for concern huh hahha.. I need to R E L A X and not think too much hee hee …

Your Mind is 59% Cluttered

Your mind is starting to get cluttered, and as a result, it's a little harder for you to keep focused. Try to let go of your pettiest worries and concerns. The worrying is worse than the actual problems!

How Cluttered is Your Mind?

Hah this would be so true about me ….. :D my surprised inner child .. heehee Then again in this day and age nothing really suprises me anymore …. A lot of the times its way too predictable ……

Your Inner Child Is Surprised

You see many things through the eyes of a child. Meaning, you're rarely cynical or jaded. You cherish all of the details in life. Easily fascinated, you enjoy experiencing new things.

How Is Your Inner Child?

Contrary to what people might think I think I am AIR just not full of hot air :P .. in many ways this is like me … don’t have to take my word for it – look at the test results heehee..

Your Element Is Air

You dislike conflict, and you've been able to rise above the angst of the world. And when things don't go your way, you know they'll blow over quickly. Easygoing, you tend to find joy from the simple things in life. You roll with the punches, and as a result, your life is light and cheerful. You find it easy to adapt to most situations, and you're an open person. With you, what you see is what you get... and people love that!

What's Your Element?

i went looking for dreams ...

i went looking for dreams and i found this ......

“Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.”

– Ashley Smith

Don’t you just love that ….. I feel sometimes we are so caught up in ourselves, in making money in making a name that we forget to see all the little that makes us happy that makes us smile. All the special people in our lives who in their way little way shows us what beauty is …..this quote by Ashley Smith makes me want to jump dance in a field of wild flowers it gives new meaning to the word living, realizing your potential and holding on tight to your dreams whatever that may be …… Just thought id share … Maybe it will bring a smile to someone ....

thoughts & opinions

The internet is indeed an ‘interesting’ place. I think it attracts people from all walks of life, and of all states of mind. With the information it gives out - very good information comes with its bad influence. It’s a world of free speech on the internet, people expressing their views without reservations – sometimes with much disrespect for the feelings of others and then some.

I enjoy surfing the web and I enjoy reading other people’s blogs. I have been around 360 quiet extensively and I find some very interesting reads and then there is the drama which really amuses me not in the best of ways of course and of course you find all the conceit ness and arrogance of some people who think they are better than anyone else. First up its chat room battering. I find it funny how they take it so seriously and actually the time to cut and paste chat room messages into their blog just to show prove justify or whatever they want to call it. Sad to say this is mostly done by women - aren’t we here to have fun? To learn to make new friends instead of bitching or moaning about one another or fighting for guys hahah – sometimes it feels like high school all over again when I read the blogs that involve this kind of a situation. What really surprises me about this is how they go through all the trouble to cut and paste conversations into their blogs – I guess some people just love the drama … maybe the wrong kind of drama .. Anyways I was at a friend of friend’s blog today and I saw something that really got me pissed off. In a lot of ways it affirms my perception if you could call it of professionals. If my memory serves right, she is currently dating a Southern gentlemen a redneck whatever you want to call it. Off comes this lawyer I think someone who claims he works on wall street – and said something like and I quote’ I don’t think a classy woman like yourself can make a great couple with a simple cowboy’ ………… honestly who he is to think that way right? In this day and age some people think they way above everyone else – that their little piece of paper is an indication that they are better. Anyways I just needed to let that out …. What has happened to humility I ask you ?

Not exactly the way I want to start my blog today, but I guess I needed to let it out. I am little miss trying to save the world lol and I guess things like that do get to me. Call me an idealist …..

Tonight I wanted to watch to watch God’s Warriors a CNN special report by Christiane Amanpour. She did a coverage on Jewish Warriors, Muslim Warriors & Christian Warriors. Here is a synopsis of the show ..

CNN Presents: God’s Warriors
A Synopsis

Protestors who kill for their religious beliefs. “Patriot Pastors” who seek to change American culture through the ballot box. Zealots who target prime ministers and presidents with assassination for “subverting God’s will.” Parents who reject science education in conflict with their religious principles. Suicide martyrs who are revered as iconic heroes. These are “God’s Warriors” of Christianity, Islam and Judaism. They see contemporary society as corrupt and view themselves as the front line of defense in a battle for cultural supremacy and political power. They are changing the world.

CNN chief international correspondent Christiane Amanpour journeyed to seven countries over seven months to report for God’s Warriors, a CNN Presents worldwide television event about the global phenomenon of religious fervor upon politics, culture and public life. During six hours broadcast over three consecutive nights, CNN will reveal how “God’s Warriors” want to bring religion back from the periphery to the center of public life – and how far they are willing to go to transform modern society.
God’s Warriors includes thought-provoking interviews with former U.S. President Jimmy Carter; the late Rev. Jerry Falwell in his last television interview; Ayaan Hirsi Ali, a Muslim women’s rights advocate; Yehuda Etzion, a founder of the Israeli settlement movement; and Israeli President Shimon Peres.

It is a 2 hour show so my lack of patience having to watch issues like that on television led me to skip it and maybe catch it again when they play it again a few days down the road. More on God warriors can be found here ………….

http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2007/gods.warriors/...

Another reason I think I didn’t really make an effort to watch was probably I am a firm believer of not using religion as an excuse to justify ones cause. How politics & religion don’t mix and neither should culture and religion. It should all be two separate things.

I was watching a report on news out of Iraq and they featured a story about 5 year old Youssif who was doused with gasoline by unknown assailants. I think ill post a separate blog entry about him seeing just how heart wrenching his story is …… so till then I am out of here for the night .. I think I have done enough ‘expressing’ for the night if you could call that … maybe tomorrow the world would be a little nicer .. I can only wish …

But before I do I think ill end my blog on a lighter note ..

So it was dreams of the bluest oceans and clear beaches for me. My kind of dream. I was swimming and there were beautiful silver fishes and I was actually walking on the sand bed looking at corals and little colorful fishies and then poof suddenly I was in my kitchen making pandan cupcakes … *raises eyebrows*. So I wonder what my dream was trying to tell me then I realized I was so caught up in recipes and cakes and in trying out new recipes recently, and then I was looking at some vacation destinations which involves islands far away – I just think that my mind has tons of unprocessed information …… so whats new right?

The best thing about dreams is that fleeting moment, when you are between asleep and awake, when you don't know the difference between reality and fantasy, when for just that one moment you feel with your entire soul that the dream is reality, and it really happened.” - author unknown

Nite world ….