Baby Kaleb

Baby Kaleb (December 5th 2005- July 12th 2006)

Children are a gift from God like my best friend said - a borrowed angel ..what if the times up and God wants them back? ..

Baby Kaleb .... ..i never knew him personally or seen him but in a lot of ways i could feel him - who cant feel cute adorable little ones? Their presence is enough to bring about warm fuzzy feelings. Kaleb was the seven month old son of a friend of my best friend .. he died .... he is in baby heaven with the rest of the other kids who have gone ... i cant even begin to imagine what his mother must be feeling - having carried him for nine months and seen and lived with him for the past seven and just have him taken away - when he seems like a healthy baby boy ...

Yes its Gods work - we have to accept but sometimes as human beings with our own limitations - we question God why? why make us go through all the pain - why give us such a blessing only to take it back?.... I am sure his mother is questioning that - she must be feeling a lot - the hurt , the pain the devastation .. ask anyone who has lost a child ... i could never feel that because i am childless but to lose something as precious - i think i can fathom though not to the full extend ...my gf feels the lost more probably because of the bond that she has established with Kalebs mother and she being a mom herself ... their kids are only 4mths apart and i do believe they have been there together for each others pregnancy ....

babies are babies.. no matter what they bring such joys to the lives of their parents .. if as non parents we cry at the birth of a child -feel the joy that it brings - just imagine the joy that it brings to their parents... the little hands, that smile, the smell , their wamrth of the little bundle of joy.. Their gurgles, their cries.. I am sure now that he is gone she will miss his cries when he wants milk, change of diaper or just wanting to be comforted.. i wish there was a way for his mother to be feel better or at least not grief as much but i want her to know that sweet Baby Kaleb is in baby heaven under the watchful eye of God with angels by his side. He is looking down on his mother with all the love he has for her. He is in a good place and smiling down on his mother - hugging her and holding her in spirit so that she may feel some comfort.

To Kalebs mother i pray God gives her strength and courage to face each passing day .....

the passing away of a precious one makes us realize just how precious life is (especially in this case a little baby) ... its through this that we have to be thankful and appreciate the people in our lives whom we care and love ... because you dont know when it will end and if you will ever get the chance to tell them you love them or appreciate them ...

we may never know why things happen the way they do and to accept it as there will be a silver lining out of all these dark clouds is sometimes difficult , but we all have faith no matter how little , that things will be ok .. not today maybe not even tomorrow but eventually and we are promised more blessings .. & brighter days ...

To sweet baby Kaleb sleep well .. under the watchful eyes of angels .. as you lay peacefully in heaven .. goodnight sweet angel ....

gut feelings

talk about strong feelings .. i think this one thing he would never understand - the whole feeling thing .. the gut feeling that somene is there and what not..... i felt it strongly, ive missed him more than usual and thought about him more than usual - wondering waiting and then on a saturday morning when the invisble bug bite he pinged - i was just laying around in bed and the sound of the messenger came about - i was thinking 'c' and yes there he was .......... i was so happy really happy - that just made my morning .. seeing that he is having fun and doing good and just knowing though not everything ... i miss his tories .. :) maybe someday i can get a chance to spend more time with him catching up and what not ... *wishes hard* ....

...wow i was just re reading my earlier entry about wishing that i got to talk to him - and voila here he was ...hmmmm power of wishes
that desire that burns inside of you especially when you want and yearn to see someone that much ...

..btw , i was just telling my best friend that i was trying to get over him - today i realized who was i kidding ..........i miss him so much yet i was afraid to utter those words to him ......... why i dont know ... then again its better to play safe right?

the wonderings back ..

you know one of those nights where the longing is more than usual and when the missing is more than usual - today seem to be it. havent heard from him in a week or so .. just hope that he is doing ok - i mean no reason to worry now right he is not longer in Iraq ...

its just the days of wondering what he is up too with whom (that lucky person) .... and what not .. is he back at work ? has he gotten his glasses - is he doing all the things he wanted to do ?? did he take any of the job offers? is he back still in the army or retired - has he gotten his harley and is now travelling around the country? .. so many questions .... i guess its the little things that counts the most .....

speaking of longing - guess who walked into my dreams last night? hahahah mr c himself .. it felt so real yet was just a dream - now if i if i had just taken my vitamin b6 the night before i may have actually remembered my dreams more vividly ... well i guess i really miss him and talking to him ... i probably should stop thinking but if i quit cold turkey odds are it will come back .......

optimism has to be the key - key to the endless wonderings hopefully he is keeping himself happy slowly but surely re adapting back to civilian life - sometimes i wonder what is going through his mind at this time , how he is feeling and everything esle and i do wonder if he wonders or thinks about me i mean i understand what he dont feel about me but you know sometimes you do wonder about people you dont feel anything for .. call it human nature call it groovie's nature ...

'C' is my little portal of useless information - yup he knows a lot sometimes i wonder if he is just joking around or for real but for the most part all that he says seems to make sense ...

i wish i wish id get a chance to talk to him sometime soon .. (closes eyes n wishes hard.........)

while battling invisible bugs - i am wondering what his personal battles are if not any ...

i found this quote while surfing online ,,, how true is this .........

'Love is like war ... easy to begin but very hard to stop ........'

full moon monday

the moon looks so gorgeous out tonight - at its full glory ..a golden ball in the sky .. i wonder if anyone really notices the full moon and its comings and goings .. i am so entriqued by the moon - i just love looking at how its rays makes the stars appear .. its so beautiful and especially when you are out of the city - its like a magical place ..

with its beauty too comes the effects of the moon - the effects on tides , emotions i am starting to wonder if anyone changes into a werewolf :P cos if they do i need to get a silver bullet ready for the next full moon .. i was just looking at the moon and thinking about how some people speculate how the moon makes one crazy or erratic .. i just find it so fascaniting .. sometimes the moon overworks the hormones and it makes some of us more horny than usual hahaha .. but anyways that would have to rated R.. i know how i am when the moon is full .. do you :P

birthdays, taxi fare price hikes & zidane ...

Happy Birthday Ira .. :* first birthday as a mom :) .... lucky woman my best friend is ... she has the cutest little boy ... ;) ... this is her first birthday as mom .. this time last year little elyas was in her belly ..... *smiles* must such a nice feeling celebrating a birthday with your child and your husband ........... :)

anyways ... while she celebrates her birthday in norway ..... here in singapore we celebrate something else - (NOT) ... taxi fare price hikes .... i hope it wont burn a hole in my pockets or anyone else's .. the 10 cents increase for flag down fare is ok but the surcharge for peak hours is somewhat of a killer - it was usually a dollar and now its double - .... makes you wonder if its even worth paying that much nor is it practical to take cab - but as ey beggars cant be choosers and some of us especially the older folks rely on taxis to get around .... people like my mom :P .. i guess we should just avoid the cabs during peak hours heehe..... they interviewed some commuters and some seem to be ok with it ... I guess its not as bad as it seems .. lets just hope there wont be anymore hikes ......

anyways .. the zidane 'controverysy continues'... we were discusisng it just a while ago .... and it no doubt raises so many questions .. .... he is a world class player and he won the golden ball award for oustanding player ..why would he even consdier tarnishing his image by doing something like that ? i mean no fire without fuel right? Many people believe that he was provoked and what was said was ultra sensitive - i guess we will just have to wait and see to find out the truth about what really happened ...

world cup 2006 finals ....

.... its only a little pass one in the afternoon and i can hardly keep my eyes open .. damn coffee - the effects are wearing off .. well i think me and a thousand other people are in this sleepy prediciment becos of the world cup finals last night - no thanks to extra time and penalty kicks .. hahha well its always fun to be part of history - watching the world cup finals between france and italy - i was disappointed that france lost .. my intially support was neutral until i saw how well the french was playing and how rough the italians were .. so my support went to france by the second half of the match ... what can i say was worth while....gosh i didnt sleep till like 5 in the morning and had to up by 630 lol .... .. i am usually a night person then when 'c' well stopped being on at that time i didnt stay up as much so 5am today was a long time since i pulled an all nighter - i was wondering how i was going to survive - but inspite of heavy lids i am surviving .. slowly but surely .... and nothing another cup of coffee wont cure ....

back to the world cup ..... the big disappointment for france came i think when zidane butt headed an italian player - he got a red card for that .. heck he is professional player and i am pretty sure that he has his reaons for doing what he did (though he should have known better) - why would he want do jeopradize his final world cup in his football career by doing something as stupid as that ... i guess we will never know .... he is france's captain and a real good player ... oh well what a way to end one's career ........... but he was still named the best player out of the whole tournament :) so it aint so bad ..........

anyways the world cup is finally over and not without its controversies.. life can get back to normal and people can get back to their own routine .... world cup 2006 caused much sleepless nights and lack of productivity in the work place - buts its excusable i think :P how often does the world unite to 1 billion strong to watch the soccer .. come to think of it if there was on uniting factor this world has known it has to be soccer or football whichever way you call it wherever in the world you are ... so bye bye world cup see ya in 4 years ....

end of the day .....

Quiet saturday night ... cup of green tea .. favorite tunes on the radio . what a night what a day :) .

i am really happy today much happier .. (knock on wood).. smiling like a jackass my friends thinks
im nuts lol but i guess we have those days when we are just well really happy .. To top up that happiness
i think my writing muse is back for a visit - i am in the mood to write .. i dont think anything can ruin my happy moments today :P ...

i attended a wedding today - weddings here are a little diffrent i would say. Guests list goes as high up as 500 - 600 people or even more sometimes ... family friends relatives relatives of relatives the list is endless .. its usually buffetstyle and people usually come and go instead of sitting down till the end of the show. Sometimes they stay to await the arrival of the couple - so it all depends really ... anyways there are the usual people you know and those that you dont lol .. food was great and i here i was trying to keep off the pounds and there was a whole spread waiting - what to do what to do - i ended up having only a spoonful of rice, chicken and some veggies ..unfortunately i over did it at the desert table - they had brownies,eclairs, cheesecake - all cut into bite size pieces - who can resist - but i indulged ..just a little though ... i however made up for eating all that carbs by walking a little more than usual when i got home :) just so i wont feel bad .......... at the wedding tho, my grand aunt said ive lost weight and looked good * woo hoo who doesnt love a compliment*** lol .. (falls back down to earth .......) thats motivation to push further :) heck either that or she was just being nice lol ..anyways a good compliment is always nice and i can actually take it this time round.. instead of disputing .. thank you 'c'.. :)

my gradual weigh loss is paying off ..yay :)

well what a saturday it was .. :) hope i get more happy days like these :)

sweet saturday

what can i say all in all today was a good Saturday - a dark saturday morning turned to a bright Saturday - a little warm but windy none the less. I liked today - i smiled alot and was happy and i felt really good about myself - i think it is just one of those days - the universe throws you some extra happy moments - yay universe ;) . or .. maybe because i woke up on the right side of the bed or maybe because i received good news about my grandmother.... she is doing way better - they have removed her cast and she can move from side to side though she cant walk as yet - but its a start - baby steps right? ... but hey knowing my grandmother - she would want to fly run right about now if she could hehee .. a very determined women indeed ..she can sit and eat on her own and her memorys even getting better - now thats a miracle :) ... i love her so much ... i always look at her in awe - her fighting spirit - :) now the maid has to be next to her all the time just in case she plans on pulling any stunts(like getting off bed) .. - yup she is that determined but i cant really blame seeing that she has been bedridden the pass three months or so .... She wants to go shopping and have lunch at a restaurant .. :) i really hope that will happen for her .. i wish i wish that when i grow old i will be like her - strong bold & determined :) ..

Why I admire Torey Hayden

Having read her book Beaufitul Child and its one of those books that you cant put down – i find that she has so much dedication and patience in what she does.I guess being in the teaching field and having special kids in my class her books serves as an inspiration :)when i grow up i want to be like her heehee :)

Learn more about Torey Hayden

good ole faith ..

Good ole faith – she did good by my grandmother. :) .. SOmetimes when you dont know what to ask from God – not knowing what is would be right or good for someone who is in physical pain – but you keep the faith that it will all be ok – it does actually get better – my grandmother went from what doctor labelled as a case of no hope to someone who has recovered – call it faith call it her fighting spirit – she is doing much better :) ..
I think having faith should just be an ongoing goal – we need to have faith even for all the little things in our daily life … and when have faith in those – odds are we would have much stronger faith for the bigger things :)

See more progress on: have faith

sunday notes ...

Brazil lost to france which means no carnivale for them ... Its such a sad day for Brazil and for me but i have to agree with a lot of other people that they didnt play as well. So now its more like a European Cup then it is a World Cup seeing that all the teams who made it to the semi finals are from Europe - Germany, Italy, France & Portugal ... who will make it to the finals we should know my mid this week ... so until that this is all the sports i can take for a while ...

I gave my blog a face lift . I painstaking changed it to be more alive - im a green mood - dont if its the envy or the enviromental things that go with green, or the calmness it represents. I had fun doing this and i actually experimented with blog templates not on this site - and obviously i failed at that .... im such a blog rookie with a lot more to learn... The black background was getting to me i needed something brighter and this white background with the little dots appealed to me ... dots (hmmmm ..familiar..)

So new blog template me likie longtime ...

World Cup 2006 - Quarter Finals

Portugal beats England during the penalty kicks to advance to the semi finals (yay Portugal). Im all for Portugal to advance to the final stages. Though the stadium was dominated by England fans - it didnt pay off the team. Both teams played a great game - during the match and even the game went into extra time it looked like both teams played well though they seem a little tired.... alas no goals was achieved until the penalty shoot out. I had butterflies in my stomach when the penalty kicks was being played - at times feels like my heart was going to come out haha i was oooo ahh noo yes and finally when Ronaldo made the winning goal it was all cheers for me and some of my neighbours(yes we can hear the yays and GOAL ). ...... The stadium was filled with so much emotion - tears, pain and then victory and smiles ..... but as in every game there is a winner and a loser so Englands going home .....

3am time for the next match - brazil vs france. This island girl is all for for Brazil to win- go brazil :) ole ole ole .....

Singapore Food Festival

The Singapore Food Festival starts today and for the food lover this would be the best time to experience an unforgetable food spread. Singaporeans are known as food lovers - though everyday is a food fest - the food festival entails more activities, promotions and what nots. Lord knows i am excited about this time - i think its time to say ummm taking a little break from my diet but but i will still try and excercise hehee...

Singapore has its share of famous cuisines and its Chillie Crabs is well known ... ummmm im so close too drooling .. Though the restaurants ones are great home made chillie crabs are still best for me and because eating it can be pretty messy - well eating at home is the safest bet but if you dont mind getting down and a litle messy - crabs away ... There are so much food to experience and i think this food festival i am up to try the Top 10 Local Favorites. Some of these are traditionally breakfast foods but its enjoyed all day through.

Shopping malls have set up stalls that sells food to join in the celebrations so i think i should close my kitchen for this whole month .. hahah..

Food fest here i come .......... :)

Complicated

... I didnt know what to name this entry so complicated it is because for a lot reasons the situation does still seem complicated ... I woke early this morning and headed straight for the computer - like always that feeling that 'c' is online came to light .. it was like one those whispers that said 'c' is around say something. The last time that happened he got suspicious and well i had a feeling he was not too thrilled but what is a girl to do - sometimes i feel like not saying anything but then how often do i get to talk to him right? Sometimes your instincts gets you into trouble more than anything heehee ....

well anyways he seem to be doing fine - back home and what not. He spent time with his mom and he is off to his sisters to celebrate 4th of July there. Ill be he will have a great time :)