Monday agAin ..

Its Monday yet again - the funs all over and now its back to seriuos stuff - maybe :P .. Its a week after the Eid festival and the ongoings are still fresh. People are still visiting family and friends and i havent finished my visitations - just dont seem to have the time for it ... And i feel kinda lost probably cos i havent been that consitent in my writing - it seems i feel sorta lost when i dont write - like sometimes missing and that applies to (...........) - hahaha just kidding or not .. who knows .........

It was a long day at work and suprisingly some parents still keep their kids at home i guess other people have bigger families than others who knows .. i do wi sh they hadnt though - few more weeks and the kids would be out of school - it just gets to me when they keep their kids away from school and i have to repeat the lesson - its a tad unfair for the other kids but i guess thats how it is - i wont complaint - if its for the betterment for the kids i say why not ... anyways ..

We've had scores of people come visit since the second day of eid - dishes and more dishes - sometimes i wonder if we could use paper cups and plates next year - i mentioned that to mom and she raised her eyebrows and said are you nuts? I just laughed i told her sometimes i think i am - go figure it comes with the territory ... I think i ate a little too much too - i promised myself that will start back on my diet come november 1st then i remember i had a wedding dinner on Saturday and i havent finished visiting my other relatives - im such in a dilemma - what to do what to do ...

Eid usually lasts for a month but i think ill close shop after two weeks heheee.. cos it looks like my cakes and cookies are running out - we didnt make much for the house this year - we did more for my moms cake business but we have enough though and if the cookies finish i could always bake a cake hopefully it turns out well this time round with no mishaps or what not ..

i busted my knee a few days ago which made it hard for me to walk, sit , stand and bend (for prayers) - it just hurt so bad i had to lay down and keep it straight. Someone asked me to play hookey from school today :P but im glad i didnt listen to them cos miraculous my knee feels so much better (knock on wood). The kids brought cookies to school to share with their friends - which i thought was really sweet .. so at break time we all shared the festival cakes and cookies - the kids had a fun time doing that so did i .

School holidays start in approximately 19 days and i am doing a count down. In between now and then it will get pretty busy - reports and evaluations for teachers and kids and also with the kindergarten 2's graduation and concert - brings back memories of my own school concert when i did a malay dance (i am not even gentle at it :P) and then did an indonesian song poteng bebek angsa - loosely translated slaugthering the geese hahaahah damn that sounded so bad hahahah - goes to show how bad my translation is :P .. I can remember the costume i was in .. i wonder what ever happened to those kids i danced with.....

Other things on the agenda - the light a million campaign lighted candles stands at 849 047 as i write this - and you guys can keep lighting them so it will reach the million target by december 31st please please go here if havent already http://www.lightamillioncandles.com

Tomorrow i think i am going to Borders after work for some ME time actualy me and the books cant wait! and then off for some cuppa or maybe the bay depends on what im the mood for .. btw i am trying to give up Starbucks .. actually someone challenged me too - kinda like hinting maybe you could give it up all together he said .. Inspite of that i still hold 3 of my fav Starbucks close to my heart - Raffles City, Simei and Liat Towers i like the ambience and the service well for the most part - it used to be the one at Changi Airport T2 but they since changed it into a Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf which serves a really good chai latte ..

All in all its been a good start to the week . The haze is in its healthy range and we're all happy and i dont feel as lost cos im writing though i miss "c" like i always do .. speaking of which he has been coming into my dreams a lot more lately - not like im complaining .. Like this morning - it was like waking up to him that probably sounds freaky but i thought it was kinda nice :P ... i just dont know why but its been like that these past few mornings . And everytime i wake up i remember whispering to myself have to tell him something abd then i try to loook for some sort of message from him - then i am off to la la land again for a moment but one things for sure it just felt like he was there - or just coming out of my dream - watching over me kinda - i seriously have no idea why i am dreaming or feeling like this - any ideas anyone?

saturday grrs..

on this very nice saturday afternoon i would just like to say ... grrrr .. grr ..grrrr ..grrrr GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR ... :) i am a tad pissed because i lost two pages worth of the written word - my words my ideas my sweat my late nights - all the effort went down the drain - i actually cried cos i take my writing seriously and now the whole finished product with pictures and what not is all gone - all gone - no way is it coming back so i am officially at logger heads with my computer and word documents - i saved everything and now its all gone how it happened i have no idea - this could be the next bermuda triangle mystery .. well anyways - it took a while for me to calm down and when i finally did i told myself i have to write it all over again so out comes the pen and paper and the brainstorming begins - i can only hope that the finished product would be maybe better than what i lost .... so good luck me .. :) ...... and the writing begins..

all that running around ...

My day is finally done and boy what a day it was ..... Its the eve of the Eid and i am heading for my grandma's in a while - right now just waiting for the car to come pick me and auntie up.I am exhausted seeing i have been cleaning and running around pratically all day.

After work today i headed to IKEA to get some vases and baskets and a little palm tree. i was trying to to some feng shui for my house so a palm tree is a good choice of indoor plant.I got some scented vanilla candles too umm umm umm they smell so good .... What really tired me out about this trip to IKEA was the long que at the check out and the amount of people who was there - - - the car park que was long as was the taxi stand. There was a little traffic jam and i was stuck in a cab with its meter running pretty fast but the uncle was kind enough to give me some discount as well as an informative ride. From Tampines all the way to Alexandra we got into intellectual conversations about singapore politics, the IMF ,and the ongoings in Singapore among other things - coffee shop talk i learnt alot about and dont think i should be posting them- his right to privacy tho ...

Anyyways ....... after a fun hour at IKEA i headed towards Tiong Bahru Plaza and got myself a french manicure by then it was already pretty late and but i was having such a good time i just took my time window shopping before heading to Simei - needed to get more stuff there and after walking about for about 20 mins i realized it was close to breaking fast so i ended up breaking my fast at burger king - burger and fries and green tea .....

I met my ice cream auntie too . She is the lady who sells ice cream outside the train station. She is really nice - she gives me free ice cream sometimes ... i enjoy sitting with her at her ice cream stand and just talking - she is friendly to everyone who goes buys ice cream from her. Even her friends say so. Anyways when i met her she was nice to offer to hang on to my shopping bags while i did my errands at Simei - i thought that was really sweet of her and she even offered me ice cream *smiles*.. anyways i think i should pack for her some cakes & cookies and give them to her when i go to Simei next week ...

I didnt want to miss the first takbir ( a special kind of prayer heard only during Eid) of the eve and i rushed back .. i made it just in time and i just choked cos i was alone at home - second Eid eve where my mom spent it at my grandma's - i was also a little sad that i could spend the last day of breaking fast with my mom and i was also thinking of my dad and my aunt who has only recently passed away. We believe that when the first takbir is being recited, the spirits will return after watching over their family - i feel the sense of him being around and it was just a sad moment so i cried alone ... it happens but then my mom called from my grandma's and i was happy again- up and about cleaning and decorating my house - Eid songs was playing on the radio so that got me in the mood again .....

My aunt called and said the ride should be here a little after midnight so hence we waited .. we got to Johore at about 130 in the morning - Thank God there was no traffic jams .. My grandmother's house was decorated with pretty lights and everyone seem to still be awake - we hung out and talked before going to bed at 3am ... exhausted and sleepy after all that running around ...

tomorrow we celebrate..

Today is the 30th day in the Muslim month of Ramadhan and its the last day of the fasting month - people in Saudi Arabia and some other Arab states celebrates the Eid festival today while the majority of the world celebrates it tomorrow which is the 24th of October. We have a little Eid celebration at school today - it happens with all major religious holidays - kids come dressed not in their uniforms but in home clothes and sometimes they come in costumes of people of other races - i am bringing some cookies to school for the kids - a little sample of what is going to be served at my home.

This month of ramadhan went extremely fast this year round for some reason - sometimes it feels like we just started fasting and now the Eid is upon us - i have asked this before and i am asking again where did all the time go?.. I think my whole aim of intending to blog for the whole month came to a standstill when i had tojuggle working and helping my mother with her cake and cookie orders for the coming holidays - but none the less my blogging has been in my mind - personal reflections thoughts and what not.

This weekend i spent it doing more and more baking and a whole lot of cleaning. I didnt sleep till really late and that too i had only a few hours of sleep - i guess the excitement of the coming festival should keep me going until i reach my grandmothers house and crash with her .. YES Eid will be at my grandma's - i am looking forward to that especially all the traditional food - which we only get during the Eid though this Eid will start on a somewhat somber mood seeing that it has only been six months since my mom's younger sister passed away - we will feel the loss for sure ...........

Anyways, seeing that school finishes early today - i am planning on getting a manicure- still undecided if i want a french or a regular ( i have the right to splurge a little - Lord knows ive earned it),maybe do a little shopping, sport a new hairdo color wise style wise who knows. I am spontenous when it comes to changing hairstyles - i can sometimes say i want to do it but not end up doing it and when i dont plan i usually casually walk into a salon - haha welcome to my silly world.. I am getting some new lights cos miss clutzy here broke the one she has when she was moving the sofa about ... And im getting some plants too woo hoo!! Today seems ilke it is going to be another busy busy day ....

Today's PSI stands at 81 which isnt so bad compared to the 100's range it was in over the weekend. Yesterday inspite of the haze - there was this incredibly cool wind blowing - it felt great - its pretty rare for this part of the world to get to feel such cool wind - always a first for everything ..

Sometimes i feel bad looking forward to the good things in life because of the people who are less fortunate and with Eid coming sometimes i feel guilty because there are people in other places who dont get the chance to celebrate Eid in a peaceful normal enviroment. There are those who dont have much .. sigh .. But i guess its important that we do everything in moderation - preps and what not and always be thankful for the blessings that have been bestowed upon us from the smallest of things to the largest of things..

well thats it for now .. i hope no one gets political at the Eid gathering - they love talking about stuff especially politics, the war in iraq, the american president lol yeah its true among other things ... its merely an exchange of opnions and thoughts which can be pretty interesting cos you learn somethings and at the same time you can teach them some things - change perceptions create understandings ..

And on that note i am off to work ... for obviously reasons i know i am going to miss talking to 'C' again - i am wondering where oh where he is ....This morning i saw his smile carried in the wind .. :)

Happy Monday everyone ....

what i woke up to

Today the new moon cycle begans ...

As we prepare to welcome in the Eid, people are dying in other parts of the world - killed by their own. To think Ramadan would have at least lessen or stopped the killings altogether - but no if anything it escalated to new heights. I sit here as a Muslim and wonder why? Killing is bad enough - but killing your own brother or sister in Islam and what? A market filled with the festival goers making preparation for what little they have admists the violence became a scene of blood scene. Why cant these people just enjoy a peace of mind? A moment to relish in the festival instead of being bombarded with suicide bombers and unexpected bomb attacks.Eid is a time of happiness a moment to celebrate our victory from the tests of fasting - but i guess for Iraqi's there is no reason for celebration seeing that its been a month of more violent attacks than ever before ..

As we sit here, preparing for the Eid, it is only right that we are thankful for the peace and stability in our nation in every respect. Thankful that we can go to the bazaars and markets and know we wont be a target of a suicide bomber, that we wont be attacked by drive by shootings or have bombs planted in our mosques and that we can worship with no worries of not making it out alive or injured. We should be thankful that we can walk around on our streets and not worry about snipers and that no militia men patrol our streets nor do we have slogans chanted from a mosque that calls for jihad instead what we hear blaring from the mosques are the call to prayer and what is being preached at mosques has nothing to do with terrorism or bombings or self sacrifice. That being Sunni or Shia is not a factor because we have learnt of acceptance and tolerance. Be thankful that we dont worry for a loved one when they go out. As we prepare for Eid which is just two days away - think of the little faces of the Iraqi children - the pain they must be going through - of possibly having lost a mother, a father , a sibling a relative.. Think of how their Eid would be. Here we are going all out for the Eid when in reality thousands & thousands others are fighting to stay alive ..

Its disheartening to wake up in the morning and face headlines that literally gives you a wake up call. The sharp rise in the deaths of US serviceman and Iraqis alike are a cause for concern and if nobody cares that is just plain selfish. Lost is felt by both parties - when life is taken in such a way there seem to be no respect for human life. What is the value of life to these people? In taking a ones life you are promised good things in the afterlife or one is giving blessings in abundant? If thats what they think - i suggest they rethink everything - what they have been taught about Islam and about being Muslim.

Well i am off to bed .. cant hardly keep my eyes open im done ranting .... nites world ... rather mornings world i am off to la la land ......

or not ... this post never made it before i went to bed so here it goes again .... hopefully it goes through ..

i guess my post isnt the usual exiciting or what you woke up too but somewhere at the back of my mind is a whole diffrent story ....

btw i missed 'C' ....... yet again ........ *sigh*

Happy Deepavali

Happy Deepavali to all Hindu's .... :)

Today is Deepavali - the festival of Lights. Hindu's from all over the world celebrate this festival of lights. Deepavali is more commonly known as Diwali in India.

The happening place for the Indian community would have to Serangoon Road more famous for the term Little Indian. Ask any native Indian and they would tell you that from certain angles it does remind them alot of home. Serangoon Roads decorated with beautiful decorations of the peacock strung above the roads adorned with colorful lights. It is indeed a beautiful sight. And who could resist the bazaars with their assortment of Indian sweets which can be any ant get diabeties- yes its that sweet but some are mildy sweet so those with not a very sweet tooth know which one to pick.. Then there is the muruku - a cracker like savoury that my mom insist we get for Eid but alas bazaars closed now .. Then of course you there is the household decorations - incest sticks, lights and candles that the Hindu's use as a means of worship. And everyone's favorite clothes - lots of them in every imagineable color - sometimes it feels like you are on a color palette.. but none the less beautiful. The Indians emphasis on color creates such vibrancy in their culture , way of life and of course their culinary tastes.

Deepavali or Diwali is a five day Hindu festival which occurs on the fifteenth day of Kartika. During this time, homes are thoroughly cleaned and windows are opened to welcome Laksmi, goddess of wealth.Candles and lamps are lit as a greeting to Laksmi. Gifts are exchanged and festive meals are prepared during Diwali. Diwali, being the festival of lights, thousands of lamps are lit in and outside every home on the day. Lamp or "Deep" is the symbol of knowledge. Lighting the lamp of knowledge within us means to understand and reflect upon the significant purpose of each of the five days of festivities and to bring those thoughts in to our day to day lives.

If anyone is keen on reading more into its history and significance can do so at the following links :-

http://www.rumela.com/events/festival_diwali.htm

http://www.diwalifestival.org/

I was out earlier on and i saw the Indian community in their festive best - colorful saris, elegant ghahgras and punjabi suits and the men in their kurta. Its nice seeing people celebrating their holidays in tradition clothes - it really gives it a positive feel. Nd the beauty of Deepavali is that its celebrated by all races in Singapore in this case visiting the homes of Hindu friends and joining in the celebration. Diversity is indeed a beautiful thing .

Once again Happy Deepavali! :)

that was my Monday

A tad bit of Monday Madness sneaked in later in the day .. but none the less i had it all under control i really did .... The haze made an unwelcome comeback over the weekend and Monday saw little kids coming to school with face masks - the haze can get pretty nasty and its especially not good for those with respiritory issues and those with heart problems and its not good for the elderly and of course the little kiddies. They are a little sad they cant play outside because of the haze - keeping them in makes them utterly restless but what are to do .. As long as farmers keep burning their crops from neighbouring Indonesia - we will obviously continuing getting the haze.....

When i left work this evening which was at about 5pm the PSI stood at 130 which was at its unhealty level. That didnt help my cold and cough much if anything it aggravated it so i was whizzing and coughing argh me no likie the feeling - i actually took a taxi and the uncle (we lovingly address our taxi drivers as uncles) gave me some haze facts which was rather interesting - he was talking about small dust particles that the haze carries and it had a tendency to build up in our nasal passages and throats - he just might have be right there. He was sweet uncle asking me to get better soon cos of the Eid festival that is coming around pretty soon .. tee hee.. i offered him my mooncake (read down for explanation ....) cos i didnt eat them - actually never tried it - he thanked me but he said you keep it .;... and try it you will like it .. its only made of lotus seed - very delicious - so after much convincing i ended up keeping the mooncake...

It is actually dark out and it looked like it was going to rain but nope thats just smoke camouflageing itself as rain clouds- talk about being hopeful ......

But on a much better note i made way to the mall to get some groceries and guess what greeted me? A 'C' look a like - like the haze wasnt torture enought *grin* .. He seem so disoriented as he was walking around looking for groceries - i had the urge to go up to him and say "excuse me are you lost? Need help finding groceries?" ..... I would prolly get a raised eye brow for that approach so i just smiled to myself and went about my shopping .. what can i say - when you love and miss someone - everyone else seem to look like them - not like im complaining or anything -*smile*.. well anyways ... there is this cake shop just outside the supermarket called Royal Cakes - royalty in a shopping mall .. sweet ... Their ads air on tv and the radio almost everyday - one cant help but to check them out and so i did and i found the most deliciously sensual decadent piece of dark chocolate truffle which was to die for ....... i had to get it - it was mesmerizing me with his textures and layering - that mixture of a dark and darker shade of chocolate topped off with cocoa powder dusting - ummm umm ummm ... ..drools ...I also bought a banana chocolate cake - which was alright - i guess after youve tasted the dark chocolate truffle nothing else compares to it .. hahah Lordy Lordy Lordy that sounds so familiar .... kinda like someone i know . moving along - i got a free tiramisu mooncake with my purchase and i do believe youve read the taxi driver story. I actually took his advice and tried it and boy am i hooked - i might go back there to get some more cakes and maybe a mooncake or two .. I mean who would think of a tiramisu mooncake right? That dark chocolate truffle makes you fly - gets you in the mood too hahahah like anything is going to happen there ... it just melts in your mouth and leaves you this lingering sensuality and you just do not want to stop eating it enjoying every second of it ..... - ummmmmmmmmm.........

Well when i got home - i was tired disoriented and the haze kinda impaired my senses of a bit .. i made chinese fried rice and grilled chicken. So the chicken need to be marinated in this case i use some left over salsa juice and tumeric and chillie powder. At the same time i had my rain base going on the wok. The chillie powder needed to go into the chicken marinate instead ms out of it put it in the wok - i was like oh darn it hahaa .. what did i just do???? .... i was afraid the rice would come out as a diffrent version and not the chinese version i was anticipating - but i kept my hopes up and added the usually seasonings and you know what - it turned out not bad considering - it was chinese fried rice with a bit of spice and eaten with that chicken and cucumber i think i put on quiet the pounds....

So meals over desert devoured i made the mistake of watching the news.. It seems like we are bombarded daily with so information and news we dont need pertaining to hardships, sadness, poverty, hunger,abuse,death, destruction,war - you turn a corner of the newsfront and there it is - staring you in the face - its so depressing. You try to ignore but you know you cant ... Im bitching and moaning about the haze yet the im sure the PSI levels over in Sumatra and Indonesian is must worst and they are living and breathing the smoke on a daily basis - i mean sure they brought upon themselves but still .. Sadness nd hardships are part and parcel of life but i just think its getting a little too much these days. Something that got my tears to flow profuously this evening was an image of crying mother as she remembered he son who was killed when his car skided in Kulai, Johore which was in Malaysia. He was going for a business trip. It sounds typical but what really is heartbreaking about this is that its only a few days to - Deepavali the Hindu festival of light... just watching her talk about him and crying just breaks your heart over and over again .........*sigh* ....

As im writing this, the skies are red out ... no news from 'C' and the PSI has dropped to 101. It is actually a beautiful night out - the skies make the night seem eeriely magical - i attemped to take pictures the last time it happened but it didnt come out the way i wanted - i just the image will be mine alone ... for now.

So that was my Monday - how was yours?

Stand up Against Poverty

Do you remember hearing all about poverty issues in the media in 2005? Well, poverty hasn't gone away, just the media attention has. So as the next push to keep the spotlight on ending poverty, the world's largest anti-poverty movement - the Global Call to Action against Poverty (GCAP) - needs your help.

From 16 Sept to 17 Oct is the GCAP Month of Action and they are attemptingto get the world record for number of people standing up to demand action on poverty – but the record they really want to break is the world's record of breaking promises and just ignoring the poor.

I've taken the action already, so it would be great if you could join me at:

http://www.whiteband.org/action/pledge/eng/act?o=cpf

(and then help spread the word further by sending this email to your friends, family and colleagues)

Thanks for your help. It helps put life in perspective when we participate in solving one of our generation's biggest challenges

moments b4 midnight...

A friend of mine told me about how nice Muslims treated him. He didnt think he would get that kind of reception seeing that he is fighting the war in Iraq i guess that should change perceptions i would hope. He was touched that they considered him a brother - kinda like a bond thing. :) It shed light on the situation he was in and it was something that he would never forget. I hinted at him '"helloooo :P im Muslim havent i have been nice to you?", hahahaa.. just kidding :P..and what did i get for saying that ? ---> this .......... a raised eyebrow and the term you brat :P..

Anyways the weekend was quiet for the most part. The haze came back and my trip to the mall got me all sniffling and couging again oh whoopie ........ kinda hard to fast and cough :P but its a challenge i would think .. Inspite of the haze i managed to do some gardening with what i have left of my plants ... You now i love autumn and i saw the pretty browns on some of my plants and thought awwwwwww it autumn :P only to realize they havent been watered hahah bad me i know but hey :P .. i gave them lots of love and tender loving care as i weeded them, fluffed up the soil and gave them lots of water - and talked to them im not crazy :P talking to plants makes them grow its proven .... So miricoulously my little plants came back to life (maybe it was all in the mind ...) ..

i know something for a fact tho - the plants dont fast - they drank and had plant food a while ago .. i was just wondering this because they said plants had life and i figured if they were anything like humans and they being God's being and what not well nevermind -- (and with that thought in mind this is silly me signing off the night hopefully .....before leaving with random thoughts .....

Yahoo ate my photos ... shame on you yahoo..... Btw remember the blank to do list? ....... its multiplied to too emmm errrr.........one big Post It sheet and 4 little ones - i guess when you got things to do you got things to do .......

I should stop reading stories out of iraq - its too depressing and it breaks my heart .Tonight's story is no diffrent (and thats only one story..... ) - i have provided a link for those who want to read it ... to the soldiers and the people of iraq my prayers go out to all of you .......

Btw my yahoo messenger isnt connecting just in case anyone cares ... doesnt hurt to think that some people do ... hahaha - i know i know wishful thinking ... Well thats it for tonight .good night everyone as i take this silly self to bed...

To all have a great week ahead! Smile be happy ........and while working hard dont forget to smell the roses .....

not a bad friday the 13th ..

Yesterday was a pretty good day with positive energies considering that it was friday the 13th - i am not very supersticious but i think when one thinks of Friday the 13th we think about the movie and how the day is being to be a day when things go wrong - i say blame hollywood for making the idea of Friday the 13th what it is - a day of horror :P .. well anyways, it was smooth sailing day considering the nightmares i had the night before about people getting killed - i hate dreams like that but tis was just a dream and i think i may have watched some horror movie prior to going to bed - dont you get those times when you were watching something or heard or read something during the day and unconsciously you dream about it at night ...

So the 13th brought more positive news for my 12 yr old cousin who had his heart so called 'played with'. He is doing better and out of his haze and daze mood (due to the anesticia). When i spoke to him on the phone he sounded happy energized. He explained about his surgery and that how he can walk now and tomorrow (being today) he will be going home. Such strong spirit ... :) welcome to the bhaj family .. men adnd women are fighters and all for the right reasons - fighting to live .. :) .. So i asked him what the doctors said - he said he had to rest alot - i dont think he was too thrilled about that hehee.. but i think he understands the repurcutions if he didnt...

We are all thankful that he is recovering and seems happy - now the task at hand for his family .. and looking forward to the coming festival ..

Grandma on the other hand is having a ball of a time .. She is a happy little old lady ..My mom said she eats alot these days sometimes and asks for all sorts of food banana fritters, samosas, chicken rice among other things .. My mom said she has put on a lot of weight and her face is much rounder now - heh heh i think she looks cute - just recalling that was how she looked liked a long time ago in her younger days -... Its good that she is eating though this means i can get her more chocolates. My grandmother really appreciates it when relatives who visit her bring her fruits and stuff - she would open it and share it with everyone else ... I know she has done that alot with me especially with chocolates and fruits - hah that explains why i balloon when i am at her house .. its all day food day sometimes - but its great isnt that what grandma's house is for?........ Now i can play with my dough again - you know how elderly people have that soft skin on their arms - my cousins and i love to massage that she would get irriattetd but then she would laugh .. my cutie grandma ... we all love her longtime..*grin*

blank 2 do list

I broke my fast at Fish & Co. yesterday and it was sooo yummy .... i had the original fish & chips with butter and lemon sauce - next time i go there im ordering the seafood platter for one - with shrimps n calamri ....... so damn good hahah.. im drooling now :P ... My aunt decided to give moi a treat - just how sweet of her is that .. then we just pretty much did a bit of retail therapy - dreaming of what we wanted and what not hahahaha.. it was actually a lot of fun until we reached Mustafa Centre - we got there at about 10pm and the crowd just kept pouring in - i was tad pissed of cos its hard to shop when there are so many people around.. The most irritating thing is that people were just standing around doing nothing .. grrrrrrrrrrr.. btw opens for 24hours - that would be the only shopping centre that operates 24/7 - how cool is that eh? Imagine this bored at 1am ? with nothing to do .. head off to Mustafa ( that almost sounded like a tag line - do i get commission for this).. So the whole shopping experience was cut short and we made our way home ..

..... its 9 days to the Eid Festival and i have like a dozen things to do .. i have this to do list mapped out in my brain and when i tried to put it on paper i just had the heading done and nothing else - call it no motivation or just the classic tale of mr procrastination :P or miss.. So instead of making that list i am blogging hahahah someone just spank me .. :P ..

its 10 past six here right now and i cant sleep ..yet ... i would prolly start getting groggy at 8 or 9 and then i sleep in .. my sleep patterns are so messed up and i have hardly any time to relax - heck that explains why my flu refuses to go away ... its hard to rest when you have a bizillion things to do ... well anyways in my head i am tending to my garden today and then so some laundry. wash my curtains and ummmm... i dont know yet ... I am not cooking for breaking fast today (yay.. yes thats a first yay for me when i dont want to cook )... my aunt is bringing over pizza woo hoooo!!!!

well enough ranting .. taa taa ... and yes my to do list is still blank ..

Keep Safe Soldiers....

A friend of mine left for iraq this morning well the AM in the USA .. This would be his second deployment and and when i talked to him he told me he had a feeling he wasnt coming going to come home -(i hope he didnt tell his significant other this) .......... what was i to say to that? I have people i care about fighting in that war and sometimes i wonder if its all worth it ... Some soldiers think they are some soldiers go in with no clue what they are doing there ... You are suppose to trust your gut feeling and all but i sure hope that his gut is wrong this time. I have read people who have lost loved ones - a husband, a boyfriend, a fiancee, a friend, songs & daughters and i cant even began to fathom their pain and anguish .. some are proud and understand and there are others who question it asking if it was all worth it ... When he was deployed about a year and half ago - his mom passed on .. He seems to be in control - strong but i wonder what the real deal is ...And i have had people i know who lost their dads and i have heard of how wives or girlfriends leaving them - i dont know if its because of the wait, the stress of worrying - i dont know .. I am not for the war in Iraq and seriously speaking i have nothing against the soldiers who go in there - it is clear they are there because its their job - they chose the military as a career and they have no choice but to go where the military sends them..

We watch constantly on television of the violence present there - but maybe thats ALL the media wants us to see.. According to some soldiers they have made progressed in helping the Iraqi's make good of their lives - help build schools, rebuild houses and what nots... there is only somethings the media shows and so much it doesnt. I am not here to dispute or argue just penning rather typing my concerns and points of view especially seeing another friend who is in the battle zone... There is nothing much i can do at this point or anyone for that matter but pray for the safety of these soldiers and contrary to public opinion these guys (the soldiers) arent as bad as they are made out to be ...

So God Bless and may you guys be safe & protected until you return to the arms of your loved ones........

Heart, Nerves, Hope

We were all kept on our toes today .. nerves and tears took over a greater part of our day .. at 9am this morning my 12 yr old cousin Omar went into surgery to get his heart fixed. An operation that usually took two hours went on for four which caused anxiety among us. From what i was told the procedure involved inserting a small camera on one of his thigh and some tubing and razor on another and manouvering it to his heart - the thought of it is scary and gets you all goosebumpy. The whole idea of the surgery is to insert a balloon in his heart and to cut through the clogged hole that is blocking the valve.

My cousin was born with a heart defect and doctors give him only up to his teens to live. One side of his heart is bigger than the other which makes the pumping process tedious. Strenous excercises or normal activities that kids usual can do would only make him turn blue and abnormal pulpatations. At 4 yrs old he had a balloon put into his heart .. now 8 years later another had to be put in only this time one of his arteries had to be cut open to allow for it pump..... His childhood is far from normal - sweets and chocolates he can only take in moderation and sometimes not at all. His activities are limited and when he does go beyond what he can - he throws up and perspires and turns blue .. when he gets that way he usually goes to a corner and keeps quiet and then we know that he is in pain .. its heart breaking to see him go through that ...

He knows that he is sick and he often questions why he is sick ... what can you tell him so that things make sense? But in recent years he has managed to enjoy his chidlhood as much as he can though due to his condition he is put in special classes and instead of being in primary six for his age he is two years down .. His attention span is short but none the less he has come up on the top of his class and we have all seen him grow up from a little boy to a pre teen . He was so excited when he got his identification card ( kids who reach 12 gets an identification card or ic). This year we saw his first crush which he wrote about in his journal - just how sweet is that ... :) ..

The reality of his condition weighs on everyones minds - but the doctors are not God and we never knwo he just might live beyond his teenage years - always good to have faith and hope ..

Todays surgery was prompted by a trip to a specialist hospital in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia about three days ago a trip which should have been done a few months ago but due to all thats been happening it was being put off until this week when his pulpatations were worst than usual .. Upon examining him, the doctors called for an immediate surgery seeing that one of the holes in his heart is clogged and if he didnt have that surgery he might not survive ....

It all came as a shock to us and we were obviously kept on our toes. Being where we are all we can do is pray. I cant even began to imagine what his parents must be feeling and his siblings too. When he was in the operating room - and it went longer than usual my aunt felt really uneasy - had a feeling that something bad was going to happen - she immediately called my grandma's house and ask everyone to say a special prayer for him - she was crying and this got my mom and everyone else crying too -.. not knowing what is happening if he is going to make it out or not .. everyones nerves was on overload ..

At about 1pm - by the grace of God he came out of the operating theatre - the operation was a success ... Thank God! We all breathe a sigh of relief - .. when i last spoke to my aunt she said everything went well and he is now resting - drowsy from the anesticia i think .. We were really thankful. Right now they are waiting for the doctor to check on him and see if he needs to stay in the hospital for a few more days ..

Fasting month does come with its tests and makes you appreciate the ones you love even more .. If anything this brought the family even closer together .. For now all we can do for him is pray and ask God for a permanent cure :).... And for his parents to be given strength and courage to face the days that come because i have seen how his condition has stressed them out especially my aunt - in between worrying and caring for him . She has so much strength - a force to be reckon with ..

We kept this from my grandmother because of her health & well being. My grandmother has recovered pretty well and she remembers and notices things more than usual. So keeping this away from here was for her own benefit so she wont worry because she has a tendency to worry alot and this could cause her stress and stroke to come back and thats the last thing we need...

Please say a prayer for him and for the family with hope that he recovers soon and give everyone strength and courage to face the coming days and that this little boy gets to enjoy his life like normal kids do ..........

umm.. delish

i probably shouldnt be doing this but i am .......... im having a bar of chocolate at half past 1 in the morning - i didnt even know i had the chocolate. I was looking for lozenges and lo and behold what did i find? A bar of picnic chocolate - one of my favorite chocolates from Cadbury- it has toffee wafer peanuts sultanas cereal - its heavenly and i know really sinful especially at this time of night. I couldnt help myself - i was sitting here looking at it having conversations about it - trying to decide whether i should or shouldnt in the end i went with i should - that little red devil in a sexy leather suit on my shoulder .. she said it wont kill ya and the other said it will add pounds .. the devil she said its only a bar of chocolate besides itll make you happier - giving me a scientific reason .. you know the whole chocolates make you feel good believe..that did it for me - i kicked off the one who was trying to talk me out of having it you know the with the white gown and halo and ate my Picnic bar with passion - enjoying every bite every tiny morsel ........ uummmmmmmm delish........now i now i can sleep oh so peacefuly after brushing my teeth of course .. nights world ...

Happy Birthday Aba...

Happy Birthday Aba .. though you are no longer with us you are constantly remembered in heart in mind in soul ..

Today would be my dad's 76th birthday if he was still alive .. I miss him especially on days like these (his birthday) and on father's day. I was closer to him than anything and he showered me with so much love
and affection. I miss his smile( i miss that about him the most).. his funny ways, his sense of humour, how he scolded my teacher for hitting me on the head (go dad!) ... He had love that would cover the whole universe over and over for my mom and me. He was a loving , caring and devoted husband to my mother. He loved her more than life itself .. everytime she talks about him i can feel what they shared & i think they are two of the most luckiest people to have found each other. To me he was a strict father(realizing later in life that it was for the better), yet playful loving and made sure i got the best of everything - and no i am not a spoilt brat and i dont get everything i want :P .... . I miss our trips to the park or fishing at the jetty at East Coast Park or just memories of waiting for him to come back from work, rushing to hug him and what not, memories of having lunch with at Ponderosa when i got my PSLE results.. just the little things that miss doing with him .. I miss having a father around - someone to put me in my place - give some advice on men Lord knows i needed that and maybe helped in making some choices in my life.. I think even after all this years i still find something missing and i think its him ... He was one with good advice and everyone loved him.... When we talk of him it is always of good things - how friendly he was with people, his good nature won him many friends and i think what struck out the most about him was how he cared for my mom - i have yet to see a man who is that with his wife ..... All in all he was a good man .. God sent in some respect. My mom's soul mate ...

I know he looks down on us everyday - saying a prayer ... making sure we are ok and on this day i wish him a happy birthday .. letting him know we are ok .. that we miss him and he is thought and kept in our hearts and prayers everyday ........ and how much we love him ...

I love you aba ..

May you rest in peace , be in His mercy and care...

mid afternoon talk

Its mid week yet again .. time passes faster than usual these days .. two more days and its the weekend - and its already 18 days into the fasting month .. im really wowed cos seriously i have no idea where all that time went .. its scary when time passes faster than usual .. especially when you have so much to do not just on a daily basis but with life in general ..
im battling a bad cold and a cough to boot grrrrrrrrrrrrrr .. remnants of the haze .. well i would just take it as a test of sorts .. heheeh..

im contemplating what i should have for breaking fast today - i am actually craving for eggplants - dip it in some spicesn fry them ummmmm .. and some grilled chicken and hummus n flat bread to complete the course *drools*.. Its funny how when you are fasting everything looks so appetizing yet when its time to break fast you seem stuffed up lol .. i think the temptation is in the food - you buy this and that and at the end you dont end up finishing it - itll be a waste ... when i have my little cousins and nieces and nephews over - sometimes they dont finish their food id always do a little mental thing with them telling them to think of the kids less fortunate or how the food cries when they dont finish it - i know its bad lol but it actually works .. but then it comes back to haunt me - when i cant finish food ill be reminded fo what i said and i have no choice but to finish it ..

They are already playing hari raya songs on the radio - it started two weeks after ramadhan. Kinda exciting - gets you in the mood then again some makes you cry .. i like the traditional hari raya songs like dendang perantau by p ramlee, songs by faridah joned, sharifah aini, s jibeing - funny how i remember singers and not the songs ..anyways nothing beats traditional hari raya songs what can i say im just a traditionalist when it comes to certain aspects of my life ... Anyways Hari raya songs just put you in the mood - gets you into that baking cleaning frenzy and then again ista reminder of how close you are getting to the end of the fasting month which is kinda sad because you dont know if you will see the next ramadan - reality of life i guess...

well thats it for now time for class again ..........

stuck in my head...

"........oh baby you make my eyes light up ...." i wish the song would leave my head *argh*.. i mean there people who can make my eyes light up but having a song stuck to your head is not my idea of starting out the day with .. Right from the moment my alarm went off right to this moment i had that song play in my head ........... I was actually shaking my head and eating lol ..see the effect the song has on my state of mind .... i mean its fine for a while but ur gets to a point where its annoying - blah to advertising ........ i got to admit it the ad for motorola razor is fun fresh and i like the kaleidescope effect but when the song gets stuck to your head - we ll we know how that gets ..... Maybe i should just put on other songs - maybe that'll help get rid of it .......

Afternoon Inspirations.....

Just a few quotes worth pondering over .....Some of my favorite quotations .. .

"Beauty comes from within you, so hold your head up, smile big and be proud of who you are. Compliment others even if you do not know them. All women are beautiful "

Hold on to what is good, even if it's a handful of earth.

Hold on to what you believe, Even if it's a tree that stands by itself.

Hold on to what you must do, Even if it's a long way from here.

Hold on to your life,Even if it's easier to let go.

Hold on to my hand, Even if I've gone away from you.

--- Pueblo Indian Prayer

"If you do not hope, you will not find what is beyond your hopes."

- St. Clement of Alexandra

"When someone else is speaking, listen very carefully … and when you are talking, listen even more carefully to whatever you say."-Nasr ed Din

"Reexamine all that you have been told ... Dimiss what insults your soul"- Anon

"In dreams & in love there r no impossibilities."-Janos Arany

Happy Children's Day!

Happy Children's Day to all the kiddies and the kiddies at heart .......Today being 1st October its actually Children's Day. Im not sure if its the same world wide but over here today is the day - to celebrate cute little kids - the future of this world .. The ones who can actually teach us a thing or two about life. Children what would we do without them. Its never a dull moment with them around :)I think about the children here in Singapore and the children elsewhere in peaceful lands - how fortunate they are - being able to have their chidlhood - not having to grow up before their time and when we were kids too we were lucky .. they have food on the table, the right to an education regardless of being male or female, a roof over their heads, toys and people who love them ..

Then i think about the children who are abused, whose parents fight constantly and they seem to in the middle of it , how children are exploited in sweat shops, exploited sexually and that just breaks my heart - children who are ripped of their childhood and made to grow up and with that carrying a burdern a scar throughout their lives .. if they choose to live that long .... Then there are the street children who fend for themselves live out on streets - where are the parents and the people who are suppose to help these kids?

Then there are children who are victims of natural disasters - hurricances, earthquakes ... all victims all needing a sense of reason on why things happen to them .. DO they fathom how do they deal and cope with such a drastic change in their lives?

Then there are the children of war .... conceived in war growing up in war .. I wonder if they even know what is happening around them .. Pictures paint a thousand words but it doesnt show the pain of these little children who have lost more than their childhood.. They have lost parents siblings cousins aunts and uncles, seen people blown up or shot infront of them and only God knows what other things they have witnessed at a young age .. Behind that smile is some bad experience but kids being kids they manage to stay kids - laughing and playing - i have heard stories coming out of war zones of how the children are - and its really touching and sweet .. how friendly they are .. and sometimes shy and untrusting but eventually coming around .. Kids give them time and they stick to you like glue .

Children no matter where in the world deserve to be kids and treated like kids - given the care, attention and love and that time to be themselves. They should never be victims of the adults agenda.. They deserve respect like any adult .. and given that extra tender loving care .. If you have children appreciate them show them you care, give them a hug, hug your friends kid, your family's , show them security and comfort and as for the other children lets hope for a better future for them - a future of peace of no wars a future of smiles and laughter and a life better than this .......that security and comfort will be there for them.......

Welcoming October..

New month last quarter of the year - makes you wonder where the past nine months went- time seem to pass so fast these days - and i ask where did all that time go?

Its a beautiful though hazy Sunday afternoon - 8th day into the fasting month and i can hear mr ice cream man downstairs sounding his bell..... - he is like the traditional ice cream man he sells ice cream i basically grew up on- before they use to come on bicycles and now its the motorized tri cycle or a van.. They have scoop ice cream or cut up ice cream - these are ice creams in blocks and they cut them into rectangular shapes and put them inbetween wafers, on a cone, in a cup or in between bread - ice cream with bread is too die for .. so damn yummy ..flavors range from local like red bean coconut jackfruit durian to things like chocolate vanilla chocolate mint strawberry ripple .. and its really cheap too ..heh hail hail the ice cream man .....

Food for today is samosas for starters with some local cakes in small bite size pieces. Today mom did most of the cooking i just did the washing up and frying of the samosas and potato cakes.The main dish is my moms favorite which is called soto ayam .. its actually a put to gether dish - you have the soup and the accompanyments - soto is loosely translated as soup and ayam is chicken so basicall chicken soup heh.. In the soup there are of course spices and beef stock and chillie which gives it its kick .. and then there is the other foods that you put in the soup - rice cakes, potato cakes, shredded chicken and top it off with fried shallots,bean sprouts, scallions and chillie - chillie padi (kinda like japalenos and regular chillies) all blended together .. its goood ..Its also very filling .. even though its a soup based dish. My mom could have this for like two or three days .. i usually get tired after having it for lunch and dinner and lunch of the next day but not my mom .. she is a soto ayam junkie ... *grin* ...

My aunt came over with some mango pudding so dinner is served .... well at 659pm today.....